LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
The findings of a long term study into podcasting have been made public by the CSIRO this week, containing the groundbreaking conclusion that no podcast ever has earnt a four hour run time.
Currently, podcasts are more popular than ever with 5.6 million Australians listening to at least one podcast a week.
That time may have been spent in vain however, as the study by the Betoota branch of the CSIRO has concluded that no one needs a weekly four hour update on issues like sport, popular culture or YouTuber beefs.
Researchers conducting the study spent five years listening to podcasts, during which time they were able to comprehensively listen to two full episodes of the Joe Rogan Experience.
After listening to those two episodes, the research team were able to come to the scientifically factual conclusion that there is no need for any podcast to ever go for four hours as anyone who speaks about any topic for that long is certifiably a dribbler.
“The only way you could really spend that time less effectively is to watch it with the video on YouTube, which is as bad as listening but now you’re wasting your eye’s time as well,” stated researcher Dr Merryanne Twal.
“I mean, for fuck’s sake, you can literally see how much ganja they’re smoking and you’re meant to watch and say ‘yeah this guy’s got a point?’”
Dr Twal states she is not sure when podcasters stopped respecting people’s time but states that if we don’t crack down on podcast dribble the next generation could be forced to live through podcasts that go for up to 10 hours.
“And that’s for the mid-week release.”
More to come.