“You Gotta Start Somewhere” Says Old Man Who Never Paid Half A Week’s Wage To Shit In The Living Room — The Betoota Advocate

"You Gotta Start Somewhere" Says Old Man Who Never Paid Half A Week's Wage To Shit In The Living Room — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

With pressure growing across the Regional Queensland rental market, a local sexagenarian offered some unsolicited advice to this masthead that involved starting at the bottom and working your way up to his position.

Comments made by Betoota Heights resident Mark Redoman today were triggered by an advertisement in The Advocate’s real estate lift-out, Buy Sell Brag, which saw a studio apartment with no internal walls going for $400. It was one of the most clicked ones on the website, according to the freak who runs that department of this newspaper.

While in a central location, on Rue de Putain near Jardins Du Branlette, the lack of internal walls means the person living there needs to shower and toilet themselves in the same room they sleep, cook and relax in.

The leasing agent, Ophelia Richards of Richards & Co Real Estate, said that while the listing was on the smaller side, it had other features such as an internal laundry and a knee-high window that people could piss out of if someone else was pushing one out on the other side of the room.

That is fine by Mark, who said, ‘You gotta start somewhere,’ and that, ‘Young people need to understand life is just a sea of pain’.

“You should’ve seen the shitholes that I lived in when I was a young man,” he said.

“Back in my day, we had these places called boarding houses where you didn’t even get your own toilet. Sometimes in the morning, we had to line up to have shit like a prison. It wasn’t uncommon to wait 40 minutes for the pleasure! Of course these days, that wouldn’t be allowed,”

“Sure, $400 is expensive for most people but you get your own toilet and shower. Plus, if someone else is using the toilet, they have those fancy zip-lock bags now that you can shit in and throw out the window. I don’t understand what all the fuss is about.”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey