EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A local bachelorette has thoughtfully come up with a strategy to help her friends keep track of her dating life, by employing the use of descriptive nicknames that sometimes border on insulting.
Abbey Muscat  had originally referred to blokes by their real names like a normal person, but quickly found her friends unable to keep track of who’s who – especially as 50% of the male population appeared to be named Tom, Will or Alex.
So now, Abbey employs the use of nicknames that either describe a physical feature or memorable quality, which has vastly improved her friend’s user experience.
“Eugh Phineas hasn’t messaged me back”, says Abbey, referring to a bloke she was keen on that had a very large snoz, “and neither has Hot Wheels”
[Because he’s hot and drives a very nice car].
“Oh that’s such a bummer, have you heard from Mr Drippy yet?”, queried her bestie, Emma [a very nice bloke who unfortunately had a bit of a sweating problem].
“Yeah but I don’t know if I’m keen if I’m being honest, EUGH!, why is finding my person sooooo hard?”
“Fuck it, I’m just going to hit up Donkey Dick Dan.”
More to come.