Woman Whose Car Tyres Are As Bald As The Rock Sees No Issue With Dropping $2k On A New Tattoo — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

As she looks in the mirror, local woman Lizzie Gordon [26] comes to the shocking realisation that she hasn’t updated her appearance in at least six months. No changes in her hair colour, no new piercings.

And sadly, no new tattoos either.

If she was being honest with herself, Lizzie knows that this habitual urge to update her appearance usually comes from feelings of stagnation, and a desire to have some control over her life – which she could achieve by going to the gym, but fuck that.

However, seeing as her hair is fried and she can’t really find the right place for a new piercing, Lizzie is instead angling for a sleeve tattoo with one of her favourite tattoo artists from Melbourne…not that she had the funds.

Having avoided both getting her very bald tires fixed and the niggling pains in the back of her mouth that signalled her wisdom teeth were finally coming through, Lizzie finds herself deliberating which option will bring her more joy – her safety and comfort, or a fucking sick new tatt.


Now having spent a solid hour thinking of the back story for her new tattoo, Lizzie reassures herself that if her tyres have lasted this long, they can manage a couple of more months.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey