Woman Trying To Expand Her White Wine Horizons A Bit Immediately Regrets Ordering Riesling — The Betoota Advocate

Woman Trying To Expand Her White Wine Horizons A Bit Immediately Regrets Ordering Riesling — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact

A local woman has discovered that she really does a basic bitch palette, after daring to try a white wine that wasn’t Savvy B or Chardonnay.

Millie Upton [23] is reported to have met up with some friends from out of town, when they agreed upon catching up over some drinks at the Betoota Height’s finest (reasonably priced) establishment, The Four Pines Hotel.

Agreeing to share a bottle of wine, Millie had been disappointed to learn that she might have to compromise on which bottle to choose, seeing as neither of the pair was keen for her white girl wine or her next favourite option, Prosecco.

But seeing as she was not at the point in her adult life where she could enjoy red wine without thinking about the time she vomited a Pinot on her cream bed sheets, Millie was tasked with finding an alternative.

“Hmmm”, says Millie, as she squints her eyes and tries to find a bottle under $60, “I guess a Riesling will do?”

Pointing at the bottle on the menu listed as as a fruity drop from Southern Australia, Millie figures it’s still white wine so it can’t possibly be that different from her usual pick. 

How very wrong she was.

Taking a sip of something that tasted like either cat piss or cat biscuits, a disgusted Millie rears back her head and spits half of it back into the class.

“The fuck is this shit?”

“It’s rank!”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey