“Win Or I’ll Make You Coach The Bulldogs” — The Betoota Advocate

“Win Or I’ll Make You Coach The Bulldogs” — The Betoota Advocate


The head supremo of the NSW Rugby League mafia has made stern threats this week, using his full powers to ensure victory for the state of NSW.

The Advocate understands that Gus ‘The One Eyed Blue” Gould had summoned Blues Coach Brad Fittler to a meeting in the back room of ​Grappa Ristorante e Bar on Norton St in Leichhardt.

A famous Italian restaurant, it is coincidentally the same establishment that lead to the downfall of Maroons supremo, Wayne Bennett, who was handed a two-week ban for breaching Covid protocols.

The character assassination has long been considered an inside job carried out by the NSW mafia during the peak of the NRL bubble system. 

Rumours are suggesting Fittler has been placed on notice after a particularly turbulent NSW campaign, which has seen the misaligned appointment of numerous aging NSW forwards, and the inability to choose the correct outside back and bench rotations.

Following the disastrous serious opener in Game One of the series, those close to Gould have told The Advocate Fittler has been given a stern warning if he’s unable to bring the shield back to NSW headquarters in Sydney Olympic Park.

An informant has told The Advocate if Fittler is unsuccessful, Gould plans to forcibly install him as the head coach of the Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs.”

“Don Gould is unhappy, and he has made his plans perfectly clear,” said Caporegime Buderus.

“If Fittler can’t win against a Queensland side without Munster, then he’ll be kidnapped, hogtied, and left naked outside the steps of Belmore Oval and told he has 10 minutes to put on a Doggies polo before the media pack arrive”.

A final burial ground for numerous NRL coaches, Gould plans to use the threat as blackmail to ensure NSW wins or alternatively appoint a new star coach at the Bulldogs.

“We believe Freddy has started taking this week way more seriously, he hasn’t been seen barefoot for days…”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey