LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In the midst of a national shortage of affordable housing for renters, Australians are wishing there was a government in charge who would be able to do something about the housing crisis.
Luckily, the one we voted in last year has finally weighed in and said what they are going to do about the broken housing market; nothing because it’s not broken brah.
“I know it’s hard right now,” stated the PM doing a stunning impression of Sherlock Holmes, sans bowel movement.
“We can’t do anything about it because it’s a very tough economy so maybe you can take some comfort in that?”
“It’s happening in other countries too. Surely we’re used to being an international standard in nothing but coffee and rock formations by now?”
At the time of writing, the average Australian MP owns 2.25 properties with the amount of MPs who rent the home they live in being zero out of 227. Considering that the landlords are the ones running the show it is easy to see why the government enacting drastic rent reforms would be like Kyle Sandilands promising that there will be less brainable cunts on the KIIS network.
“Truth is, the current price of rentals is kind of working for us. You’ve heard of this inflation gag yeah? We’re just trying to meet inflation. Nothing is completely broken, just a bit cooked for some.”
“We’re investing in public housing, that’s something to look forward to for the next six or so years or however long it takes, who knows with Australian infrastructure hey?”