EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact
A bloke who’s scandals including glassing his fiancé, cheating on his pregnant wife and sexually assaulting a stranger has now found himself facing another controversy, this time, for not being enough of a disgusting pig.
Former ball thrower Wayne Carey  is said to have been banned from entering any of Crown’s facilities for two years, because he failed to meet the minimum cocaine levels required to enter the casino.
It’s alleged Carey was evicted by the casino’s security when a bag search found he only had roughly $150 worth of cocaine in his suit pocket, which was far below the 8 ball required to responsibly gamble.
“It’s quite pathetic actually”, says one of the security guards who escorted Carey out the venue, “he kept saying it was just crushed anti inflammatories.”
“So, not only does he enter the venue with hardly any coke, but he’s also bought in some substandard shit that’s been cut with Ibuprofen?”
“That’s downright disrespectful.”
“I wish he’d been banned for life.”
Chatting to a staff member from Channel Seven, our reporter learns that Carey has also been suspended from the network for embarrassing them.
“Yeah look, he definitely got on our radar after providing character references for gang members and the violence against women”, says the producer, “but we have a reputation to uphold, and if you can’t blow through a bag, what sort of man are you?”
“He’s suspended until further notice.”
“Or until he gets caught bashing someone at a nightclub.”
More to come.