“Wake Up! You’ll Miss The Best Part Of The Day” Says Dad Before Disappearing For A 45-Minute Shit — The Betoota Advocate

"Wake Up! You'll Miss The Best Part Of The Day" Says Dad Before Disappearing For A 45-Minute Shit — The Betoota Advocate


A Betoota Heights household has been today reminded that sleep is the enemy, especially if you are a teenager.

This comes as toasty winter sleep-in has been spoiled by the Ramsley patriarch, Robbo (51) who takes great issue with the idea of his teenage kids laying in bed beyond 7:15am on a weekend, and 6:15 on a school day.

“Are you still in bed?!” the old man barks at his 16-year-old son, who was attempting to take advantage of a few precious minutes not looking at his phone or schoolbooks.

“Wake up!!!”

“You’ll miss the best part of the day if ya stay in bed”

Robbo then bounces between the two other bedrooms, waking up the 15 and 13 year olds in the same fashion

However, despite being charged to the eyeballs with strawberry jam and instant coffee, it has become clear to Robbo’s offspring that he isn’t necessarily ready to take on the day yet either.

This was confirmed when the local stone and tile retailer grabbed himself a copy of today’s newspaper and hit the the throne.

“Where’s dad?” asks the 13-year-old, as all three kids sit down for breakfast, after managing to shower and get dressed in the space of half on hour.

“He’s strangling one out!” says the 15-year-old, before being slapped on the hand by mum for the crime of telling the truth.

At 8pm, Robbo had clocked up 45 minutes on the shitter, wasting a good part of the morning taking his time slicing off his post-coffee colon loaf.

“Be out in a sec” says Robbo, with a clear voice that reveals that he had left his bathroom door open.

The kids immediately rush to the car to avoid the imminent stench that will inevitably follow the flush.

Author: Stephen Bailey