LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Passengers on a Betoota Rail train are unsure how to look at themselves in the mirror now after an incident earlier today.
At approximately 10:30am, public transport menace Lillian Keary (2) was seen stomping about on the aisle of a train, dropping Dunkaroos on the floor, and practising what witnesses described as a scream that could be used in ads for vasectomies.
However, the onlookers remained just that, with a few even forcing a smile to Keary’s mother Grace as if to suggest her failure to control her child was adorable.
“Look, I know you’re not allowed to hit kids anymore, but can’t you just pop on some Bluey and be done with it like every other parent does these days?” stated one childless passenger who surely watches too much Sunrise.
As if telepathically hearing the veiled disdain from her fellow passengers, mother Grace settled her daughter down with a show on her phone that she played on full volume for the whole train to hear.
“Oh no, they had to listen to a kids show when they didn’t want to,” stated mum Grace Keary who would have previously judged a mum in her position had she never procreated herself.
“That must have been so horrible for them to put up with my child’s screaming for those ten minutes. Can’t imagine what that would have been like really. Must have been horrible for all those people who were on their way to have coffee with a friend at 11 o’clock on a work day. How horrible. Fuck I feel guilty.”
MORE TO COME.