Tom Cruise Returns To Japan To Avenge Shinzo Abe — The Betoota Advocate

Tom Cruise Returns To Japan To Avenge Shinzo Abe — The Betoota Advocate


One of Japan’s most distinguished Samurais has returned today, with a cold plate of revenge in his heart.

Hollywood actor Tom Cruise arrived at a discreet airport in rural Japan moments ago, after learning of the attempted assassination of Shinzo Abe early today.

While more commonly associated with Navy jet fighters amongst Westernerss, Tom Cruise is most popular amongst the Japanese as a skilled and disciplined swordsman.

According to Japanese myth, Tom Cruise-san became intrigued with the way of the samurai and decided to join them in their cause over two decades ago. His journal entries reveal his impressions about traditional Japanese culture, which almost immediately evolve into unrestrained admiration.

As a loyalist to the Japanese Empire, it is no surprise that that the Last Samurai has dropped everything and returned to the Land Of The Rising Sun, upon hearing the news that former prime minister Shinzo Abe has been rushed to hospital after apparently being shot during a campaign speech in western Japan.

Witnesses reported hearing gunshots in the apparent attack in Nara, some 480km west of the capital Tokyo.

The 67-year-old, who twice served as president of Japan, was making an election campaign speech ahead of Sunday’s poll for parliament’s upper house.

With Shinzo Abe’s current condition still unknown, some would say it may be too soon to be already reporting stories of this nature. However, the whispers of Cruise-San returning to the hills of Mikawa has already spread across the entire nation.

In the perfection of feudalism, the Japanese taught vengeance as a part of ethics and the vendetta as a fine art. Tom Cruise is a student of this school. An artist of this practice. There will be blood.

Author: Stephen Bailey