WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact
Economists and social theorists are today eating humble pie after being destroyed by a Gold Coast man named Brenton Thomas.
After weeks of discussing the effects of the ‘so-called Gender Pay Gap’ in the lead-up to the nation’s Jobs and Skill Summit, experts were today shattered by revelations from Brenton that the whole thing doesn’t exist.
While experts say women earn an average of $450,000 less over the course of their careers than men, Brenton says that’s bullshit.
“Give me a fucking break,” says Brenton, an absent father who earns 190k a year driving trucks in giant open-cut mines in the middle of nowhere.
“Mate, if people wanna complain about not getting paid as much as other people, just get another job,” says the man who earns three times as much as the women who look after and raise his kids 5 days a week.
“The Gender Pay Gap doesn’t exist,” continued the man who doesn’t seem to understand how a patriarchal society has led to male-dominated sectors like his own paying triple what female-dominated sectors are.
“Nothing’s stopping sheilas from coming out here and doing this job,” says the man who dropped out of an apprenticeship in his third year.
Brenton explained that women who work in female-dominated sectors earn significantly less than surgeons, finance bros, FIFOs, and tradies because the work they do isn’t as important.
“Like sorry, that’s the reality. It’s got nothing to do with centuries of men in power valuing male-dominated work as more important than female-dominated work and altering the systems of power to ensure that people’s renumeration reflects that.”
When asked about things like women being pushed out of higher paying roles because of blokey cultures in places like the surgical profession, the legal system, and the finance world – Brenton just laughed.
“Fuck you’re a simp bro. Grow up.”
Economists are yet to respond to the devastating news, but it’s now believed childcare workers on 21 bucks an hour aren’t getting paid more than Brenton’s shitbreak going forward.
No more to come.