Mate Who Ate This For Smoko All Week Can't Understand Why His Guts Are Playing Up — The Betoota Advocate
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Mate Who Ate This For Smoko All Week Can’t Understand Why His Guts Are Playing Up — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Betoota Heights chippy Burt Luke has been struck down today by a mystery case of the tummy pains. While there is plenty of…

Continue Reading Mate Who Ate This For Smoko All Week Can’t Understand Why His Guts Are Playing Up — The Betoota Advocate
Nostalgic Gen Xer Pays Homage To Sanity By Only Listening To CDs For Entire Week — The Betoota Advocate
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Nostalgic Gen Xer Pays Homage To Sanity By Only Listening To CDs For Entire Week — The Betoota Advocate

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact A human being that was birthed in the maternity ward of the Betoota State Hospital on the 14th June 1980 has felt a…

Continue Reading Nostalgic Gen Xer Pays Homage To Sanity By Only Listening To CDs For Entire Week — The Betoota Advocate
Mate Returns From Week In Kuta Beach With A Deep Understanding Of Indonesian History And Culture — The Betoota Advocate
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Mate Returns From Week In Kuta Beach With A Deep Understanding Of Indonesian History And Culture — The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local car detailer from Betoota Ponds has this week returned from this mad joint in Bali with a deep desire to continue…

Continue Reading Mate Returns From Week In Kuta Beach With A Deep Understanding Of Indonesian History And Culture — The Betoota Advocate
Student With 3 Exams In Next Week Procrastibakes By Making Absurdly Complicated Chocolate Truffle Torte — The Betoota Advocate
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Student With 3 Exams In Next Week Procrastibakes By Making Absurdly Complicated Chocolate Truffle Torte — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT French Quarter Student Bethany Brown has today decided to grab the bull by the horns. The 3rd year law student at our esteemed…

Continue Reading Student With 3 Exams In Next Week Procrastibakes By Making Absurdly Complicated Chocolate Truffle Torte — The Betoota Advocate
Lucky Ethnic Friend Always Has His Mother Country In Case Socceroos Come Home Next Week — The Betoota Advocate
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Lucky Ethnic Friend Always Has His Mother Country In Case Socceroos Come Home Next Week — The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Soccer fan George La Polosovicski (32) is “beyond pumped” to see the Socceroos play on Saturday night and currently only has tentative…

Continue Reading Lucky Ethnic Friend Always Has His Mother Country In Case Socceroos Come Home Next Week — The Betoota Advocate
Cruel Pay Cycle With 5 Weekends Forces Office Worker Into Week Long Toastie Diet — The Betoota Advocate
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Cruel Pay Cycle With 5 Weekends Forces Office Worker Into Week Long Toastie Diet — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The steaming crackle of a Breville sandwich toaster is providing little comfort this afternoon, as a local bloke enters his fourth…

Continue Reading Cruel Pay Cycle With 5 Weekends Forces Office Worker Into Week Long Toastie Diet — The Betoota Advocate
Local Man Glad To See Airbnb Hasn't Fucked His Community Too After Seeing Lights On A Week Night — The Betoota Advocate
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Local Man Glad To See Airbnb Hasn’t Fucked His Community Too After Seeing Lights On A Week Night — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Returning to his French Quarter townhouse complex last night, local man Maurice MacGinnis said he was pleased to see…

Continue Reading Local Man Glad To See Airbnb Hasn’t Fucked His Community Too After Seeing Lights On A Week Night — The Betoota Advocate
Housemates Of Taylor Swift Fan Forced To Turn Off Mains Power After A Week Of Waterboarding — The Betoota Advocate
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Housemates Of Taylor Swift Fan Forced To Turn Off Mains Power After A Week Of Waterboarding — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A share-house in South Betoota has today been forced to take drastic action. After 7 days of non-stop Taylor Swift echoing through the…

Continue Reading Housemates Of Taylor Swift Fan Forced To Turn Off Mains Power After A Week Of Waterboarding — The Betoota Advocate
Are Any Of You Fucking Cowards Going To Address What Happened In Perth This Week? — The Betoota Advocate
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Are Any Of You Fucking Cowards Going To Address What Happened In Perth This Week? — The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia’s political class don’t appear to have much to talk about this week. This is peculiar, given the fact that literally every single…

Continue Reading Are Any Of You Fucking Cowards Going To Address What Happened In Perth This Week? — The Betoota Advocate
Football Atheist Woman Prepares For Long Week As Husband Abuses Complete Stranger For Being A Shit-For-Brains Parramatta Inbred In Crowded Cafe
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Football Atheist Woman Prepares For Long Week As Husband Abuses Complete Stranger For Being A Shit-For-Brains Parramatta Inbred In Crowded Cafe

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A woman who doesn’t give two shits about sports has this week been thrown into the deep end, as she witnesses a side…

Continue Reading Football Atheist Woman Prepares For Long Week As Husband Abuses Complete Stranger For Being A Shit-For-Brains Parramatta Inbred In Crowded Cafe