Tag: Today
‘Oi Let’s Catch Up Before Work Starts’ Just Code For ‘Lets Suck As Much Piss As Possible, Today’ — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With a vast majority of Australians returning from their Christmas break and back into to work over the next week, the purgatory of…
“Weak As Piss” Laughs Boss Seeing Staff He Took To The Pub Last Night Struggling To Function Today — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact It’s nearing the silly season’s peak in Betoota with even the most dedicated workplaces taking to drinking on a…
“I Guess You Guys Cancel Each Other Out Today” Thinks Local Man Seeing Feral Cat Eat A Myna Bird — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A city worker enjoying a sandwich in Machattie Park today witnessed some bastard’s cat eating a bird, something he…
Group Of Mates Choose Dog-Friendly Pub Today Because Dog Who Doesn’t Share His Tips Is Coming — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A group of young men looking for a place to sit and enjoy their sick day has settled on…
Naarm Settler Fires Up LinkedIn To Let Network Know She’ll Be Busy Working At 3pm Today — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Smoke is billowing from a Brunswick loft this morning, as a politically charged yuppie furiously hammers at her keyboard to craft…
Nation’s iPads Copping An Absolute Battering Today As Child Care Sector Goes On Strike — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact Family iPads and parental iPhones across the country are running at full steam today, it can be confirmed. With 1000 private childcare centres…
PM Asks Greens If Outright Banning The Use Of Fossil Fuels From Today Will Make Them Happy — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Prime Minister is under fire this week from environmental groups after the government green-lit a number of oil…
Man Left Confused After Qantas Issues A Boarding Pass That Just Says “Today Maybe” — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large| Contact A nice young man from our town’s French Quarter arrived at the Betoota Remienko Memorial Aerotropolis this morning ready for…
Albanese Asks Staff Is This Energy Crisis Is Affecting The WiFi After Struggling To Open Browser Today — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has certainly had a jam packed week, having met on his promises to increase the minimum wage, sign Australian…
Couple Who Spent Better Part Of A Decade Saving Up For 1st Apartment Not In A Great Mood Today — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Betoota Heights couple Scott Wilton and Samantha Mason are not in the fucking mood for it today, it can be confirmed. The cause…