Man With New Properly Fitted Suit Asked For The 8th Time By Mates If He's Got A Licence For Those Guns  — The Betoota Advocate
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Man With New Properly Fitted Suit Asked For The 8th Time By Mates If He’s Got A Licence For Those Guns  — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Brett Walker is blushing today, after being savagely lit up by a group of his mates.   The Betoota Heights man has faced the…

Continue Reading Man With New Properly Fitted Suit Asked For The 8th Time By Mates If He’s Got A Licence For Those Guns  — The Betoota Advocate
‘How’s Your Food?’ Asks Overzealous Waiter To Customer Who Barely Had Enough Time To Pick Up Fork — The Betoota Advocate
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‘How’s Your Food?’ Asks Overzealous Waiter To Customer Who Barely Had Enough Time To Pick Up Fork — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Though local woman Kelsey Hanneman [27] does appreciate a good service, there is such a thing as being a little too heavy handed…

Continue Reading ‘How’s Your Food?’ Asks Overzealous Waiter To Customer Who Barely Had Enough Time To Pick Up Fork — The Betoota Advocate
Old Mate's 'Release The Kraken' Gag Still Getting A Run Every Time He Hits The Fridge — The Betoota Advocate
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Old Mate’s ‘Release The Kraken’ Gag Still Getting A Run Every Time He Hits The Fridge — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Enjoying a BBQ and a Black Mojito in his modest 4 bedroom double garage project home, a local Betoota Heights man is playing…

Continue Reading Old Mate’s ‘Release The Kraken’ Gag Still Getting A Run Every Time He Hits The Fridge — The Betoota Advocate
Very Real Racist White Gangs Of Perth Getting Far Less Air Time Than Fictional African Gangs Of Melbourne — The Betoota Advocate
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Very Real Racist White Gangs Of Perth Getting Far Less Air Time Than Fictional African Gangs Of Melbourne — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some not so surprising news from newsrooms around the country, dangerous gangs of young white men aren’t getting anywhere near the attention…

Continue Reading Very Real Racist White Gangs Of Perth Getting Far Less Air Time Than Fictional African Gangs Of Melbourne — The Betoota Advocate
Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent
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Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than 24 hours until the Race That Stops The Nation, the same hashtags that once dominated social media before the pandemic…

Continue Reading Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent
Nations Quirky Musos Excited To See Which Zany Instrument Bill Bailey Rolls Out This Time — The Betoota Advocate
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Nations Quirky Musos Excited To See Which Zany Instrument Bill Bailey Rolls Out This Time — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT Australia’s keytar strummers are reportedly migrating to major cities this week, as metropolitan centres prepare for the arrival of musical comedian…

Continue Reading Nations Quirky Musos Excited To See Which Zany Instrument Bill Bailey Rolls Out This Time — The Betoota Advocate
Recession Time! Society Based On Capitalism Continues Its Perpetual State Of Crisis — The Betoota Advocate
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Recession Time! Society Based On Capitalism Continues Its Perpetual State Of Crisis — The Betoota Advocate

RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact The World Bank, the US Federal Reserve and pretty much everyone else is about 95% sure we’re going to enter terrifying global recession. …

Continue Reading Recession Time! Society Based On Capitalism Continues Its Perpetual State Of Crisis — The Betoota Advocate
Bored Suburban Mum Shortlists Selling Baby Rompers Or Starting Home Lash Salon To Pass The Time — The Betoota Advocate
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Bored Suburban Mum Shortlists Selling Baby Rompers Or Starting Home Lash Salon To Pass The Time — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Though local Betoota Heights woman Kelly Faulkner [26] had at least had the foresight to know that having a child would be stressful,…

Continue Reading Bored Suburban Mum Shortlists Selling Baby Rompers Or Starting Home Lash Salon To Pass The Time — The Betoota Advocate
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Lone Educational TikTok Makes Up For The Millions That Stole Your Time — The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A grain of knowledge has done its bit to tip the scales of ignorance this week as one educational TikTok has made up…

Continue Reading Lone Educational TikTok Makes Up For The Millions That Stole Your Time — The Betoota Advocate
"Why The Fuck Are You Buying This Plastic Halloween Rubbish, You Stupid Fucking Bogan?! I'm Trying To Curb Spending And Cool The Economy But Its Mouth-Breathing CUNTS Like YOU That Make My Job Way Fucking Harder Than It Has To Be. Just Buy Food And Pay Your Fucking Bills On Time. How Fucking Hard Is It? Fuck You! — The Betoota Advocate
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“Why The Fuck Are You Buying This Plastic Halloween Rubbish, You Stupid Fucking Bogan?! I’m Trying To Curb Spending And Cool The Economy But Its Mouth-Breathing CUNTS Like YOU That Make My Job Way Fucking Harder Than It Has To Be. Just Buy Food And Pay Your Fucking Bills On Time. How Fucking Hard Is It? Fuck You! — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Reserve Bank Governor Philip Lowe has castigated a fellow shopper down at his local supermarket this morning for…

Continue Reading “Why The Fuck Are You Buying This Plastic Halloween Rubbish, You Stupid Fucking Bogan?! I’m Trying To Curb Spending And Cool The Economy But Its Mouth-Breathing CUNTS Like YOU That Make My Job Way Fucking Harder Than It Has To Be. Just Buy Food And Pay Your Fucking Bills On Time. How Fucking Hard Is It? Fuck You! — The Betoota Advocate