Tag: Start
Advice Column | Time To Refinance Your Mortgage Or Just Stick Your Head In An Oven And Press Start? — The Betoota Advocate
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT As Australia’s only finance guru who knows what it’s like to be broke and unable to save more than…
New Housemate Off To Cracking Start After Giving Everyone A Shush At Only 2AM On His First Night — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A sharehouse in Betoota’s Flight Path District is still coming to terms with the unconscionable actions of their new housemate this morning, less…
After 5 Years Of University, Graduate Architect Thought She’d Start On At Least The Minimum Wage But No — The Betoota Advocate
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact In architecture, elegance is an elusive concept. This is something recent graduate Thelma Amleth (24) has been grappling with lately. “Form, function, utility,…
Australia’ Allows Players Born Between 1946-1964 To Start With Houses On The Board — The Betoota Advocate
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact A wholesome Gen Z’er has spent quality time with her Aunt and Uncle this afternoon, playing a fun new version of the classic…
Calls For Holden To Start Making Electric Cars Grows Louder After Market Demands EVs With Fucked Timing Chains And Doors That Fill Up With Water Every Time It Fucking Rains
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact There are growing calls in the automotive community to rebirth local car manufacturer Holden and put it to work…
Recently Dumped Bloke Enquires If Any Of His Mates Would Be Keen To Start A D&D Crew — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Sitting alone in his apartment as he ploughs through his favourite bachelor meal (eggs on toast) local bloke Mitch Hewson [32] begins to…
“Might Start With a Fresh Juice” Says Bloke Before Loading Buffet Plate With Six Forms of Breakfast Meat — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A loyal company man is juicing the most out of a work trip this morning, as he tackles an extravagant breakfast…
Hot-Shot Entrepreneur Calls Girlfriend “Babe” At The Start And End Of Every Sentence — The Betoota Advocate
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact Dill Fromps (27), the slickest entrepreneur this side of Betoota Grove, has continued on his breathtaking rise up the ranks of start-up stardom….
Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than 24 hours until the Race That Stops The Nation, the same hashtags that once dominated social media before the pandemic…
“I Can’t Miss This, Babe,” Says Sports Fan Tuning Into The Start Of The Sheffield Shield After Watching Football Game He Couldn’t Miss Either
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A marginally-employed young man from our town’s Heights district has told The Advocate that he’s likely to be crucified…