Tag: Playing
“The Problem With Housing Is Supply” Says Man Playing 18 Holes On Inner-City Private Golf Course — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local property investor has today solved the number one issue plaguing Australian politics: The housing crisis. “The housing crisis was bound to…
Mate Who Ate This For Smoko All Week Can’t Understand Why His Guts Are Playing Up — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Betoota Heights chippy Burt Luke has been struck down today by a mystery case of the tummy pains. While there is plenty of…
“See How We Go, No Plans” Lies Coworker Who Plans To Spend Entire Weekend Playing PS5 — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A Betoota Heights man has done his best Pinocchio impression today, by telling all of his colleagues a big old lie. While his…
Local Girl Who Can’t Be Assed Shaving Her Legs Fends Off Potentially Boring Date By Playing The Gastro Card — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local girl is glad to have won back her Friday night after skillfully playing the oldest trick in the book….
Queenslander On Temple Tour Of Tokyo Asks Guide If They Know Any Pub Playing The BBL — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Japanese tour guide is under some pressure today, as he attempts to welcome a new breed of tourist to Tokyo….
Albo Censures Marrickville Barista For Playing Mumford & Sons — The Betoota Advocate
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has proved he’s on a real censuring kick this week and will be moving to censure his barista for…
Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than 24 hours until the Race That Stops The Nation, the same hashtags that once dominated social media before the pandemic…
Rugby’s Marketing Pigeon Assures Boss That Punters Know Wallabies Are Playing Tomorrow After AFL But Before The NRL — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The common rock pigeon tasked with running the entire marketing division of Rugby Australia has assured boss Hamish McLennan…
Woman Having A Rough Go Of It Escapes Her Troubles By Playing Several Hours Of The Sims — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact After having a couple of tough weeks, local woman Layla Runcorn finds herself turning towards her familiar friends again – her comfort show…
All Blacks Actually Playing Like They Come From A Dorky Little Nation Of Only 5 Million People — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT In some sad news from across the dutch, our cute but dorky little cousins from the remote island state of New Zealand are…