Tag: Melbourne
Melbourne Resident Says 3.8 Magnitude Earthquake Not Really As Bad As The Extra Long Lockdown They Had To Endure To Protect The Rest Of The Country Even Though No One Ever Said Thank You Or Whatever
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Melbourne residents are absolutely stoked to hear that they are still at risk of aftershocks, after the city was struck by its strongest…
A-League Transfer Record Broken After Belgian Club Buys Melbourne Star With Case Of Martens Pils — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Australian footballing community is buzzing today, after news broke about a huge international signing. Melbourne City has confirmed that one of their…
City That Doesn’t Have A Kmart Or Target In The CBD Wonders Why Everyone’s Flocking To Melbourne — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Data released from the Australian Bureau of Statistics has this week revealed that Melbourne has officially surpassed Sydney in becoming the nations’ most…
Pretty Quiet Weekend In Melbourne — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some breaking news from the most cosmopolitan city in Australia, there was a little bit going on this weekend. This comes following…
Local Girl’s Melbourne Trip Declared Roaring Success After Managing To Nab A Lune Croissant — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local woman has today returned to Perth with a smile on her face, and a strong sense of satisfaction. The Subiaco via…
Boyfriend Told To Allow For At Least 60 Minutes Worth Of Laneway Photoshoots On Melbourne Trip — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A bloke going on a Melbourne trip with his girlfriend has been warned to allow at least an hour for some laneway photoshoots,…
Local Bloke Cops Torrential Rinsing From Mates After Returning From Melbourne Flaunting Cute Chino Roll — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local bloke’s attempt to appear more fashionable has blown up in his face this evening, after becoming the punch line…
Very Real Racist White Gangs Of Perth Getting Far Less Air Time Than Fictional African Gangs Of Melbourne — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In some not so surprising news from newsrooms around the country, dangerous gangs of young white men aren’t getting anywhere near the attention…
Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than 24 hours until the Race That Stops The Nation, the same hashtags that once dominated social media before the pandemic…
3rd Melbourne Airport To Be Built In The Even More Convenient Location Of Ballarat — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Infrastructure Victoria has today announced they have plans to make flying to the allergy capital of the world even more confusing, by building…