Tag: Ill
“So I’ll Book You Again In For Next Month” Gently Threatens Barber Holding Razor To First Timers Throat — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT An unfortunate hostage situation is unfolding on the streets of Betoota Mall today after a local man decided he’d try out…
Alright, I’ll Say It, I’m Done With This Toxic ‘How Many Weetbix’ Do You Do Shit — The Betoota Advocate
JAMIE HOTTAKE | Outrage | CONTACT Somehow, in a world full of violent mass conflict, identity politics run amuck and a renewed addiction for reality TV, we have forgotten…
Katter Says The Key To Tackling Inflation Is A Full-Tilt Return To A Cash-Only Economy Because It Seems That Every Purchase And Sale That We Document Be That By Pen And Paper Or Through One Of Those Wicked Card Machines Eventually Ends Up On A Balance Sheet And In An Economy Like This That Kind Of Information Can Make Some Cotton-Wool Wrapped Suits At The RBA Very Nervous I Mean Say What You Want About Immigrants But They Carry With Them An Engrained Adherence To A System Where The Government Doesn’t Need To Be Looking At Every Bloody Cent We Spend, Mind You, I Do Know Of A Few Blokes That Might’ve Got Bit Carried Away, Back In The Day Some Of These New Australians Were Bloody Good At Giving Gifts I’ll Tell Ya That Much For Free, It Took A Microscope And Thousands Of Public Servants To Deduce That Our Former Premier Sir Joh May Have Been Given A Few Aeroplane Hangars Packed With Close To Ten Million Dollars Worth Of Farming Machinery For No Reason Other Than The Fact He Was A Good Bloke – Poor Joh Didn’t Think Much Of It But He Paid For It In The End
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australians have been told to brace ourselves for even more inflation, as the international unrest of war, diplomatic break downs and natural disasters…
“Win Or I’ll Make You Coach The Bulldogs” — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT The head supremo of the NSW Rugby League mafia has made stern threats this week, using his full powers to ensure…
“Give Me Ten Good Blokes And A Dozen SLRs And I’ll Secure Our Gas Reserves And Make Sure None Of It, Not Even A Bic Lighter Of The Stuff, Gets Sent Overseas To Places Like China Or Some Other Bloody Place Because This Is Our Gas And I’ll Be Damned If We Sell It On For A Profit While Australian Families Are Shivering Their Way Through The Coldest Winter In Fifty Years, We Will Take The Fight To The Gas Exporters And This Isn’t The First Time I’ve Put A Hot Round Through The Patella (Which Is Latin For Kneecap) Of Some Corporate Johnny Who’s Selling Australia Down The River There’s A Million Wild Acres Of Country Out Past Julia Creek Where These Bastards Can Rot Under A Boree Tree When I’m Done With Them.” — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Member for Kennedy Bob Katter has unveiled his plan to make sure the gas shortage crisis is averted…