Man With New Properly Fitted Suit Asked For The 8th Time By Mates If He's Got A Licence For Those Guns  — The Betoota Advocate
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Man With New Properly Fitted Suit Asked For The 8th Time By Mates If He’s Got A Licence For Those Guns  — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Brett Walker is blushing today, after being savagely lit up by a group of his mates.   The Betoota Heights man has faced the…

Continue Reading Man With New Properly Fitted Suit Asked For The 8th Time By Mates If He’s Got A Licence For Those Guns  — The Betoota Advocate
NSW Police Brutally Bash Another Elderly Man For Asking His Old Mate How The Fuck He's Been — The Betoota Advocate
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NSW Police Brutally Bash Another Elderly Man For Asking His Old Mate How The Fuck He’s Been — The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The New South Wales police are back in action today, and ramping up their efforts to cleanse Sydney’s streets of any immoral behaviour…

Continue Reading NSW Police Brutally Bash Another Elderly Man For Asking His Old Mate How The Fuck He’s Been — The Betoota Advocate
Local Bloke Alerts Followers He’s Back On The Market By Posting Multiple Instagram Stories Of Obscure Fitness Training — The Betoota Advocate
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Local Bloke Alerts Followers He’s Back On The Market By Posting Multiple Instagram Stories Of Obscure Fitness Training — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Adam Kingi is back, baby, and he’s more than ready to let everyone know about it – in fact, he’s a firm believer…

Continue Reading Local Bloke Alerts Followers He’s Back On The Market By Posting Multiple Instagram Stories Of Obscure Fitness Training — The Betoota Advocate
Dan Andrews Proves He’s Still Just Your Average Aussie Dad After Making A Bulk Order Of Jumbo Sized Wingless Pads — The Betoota Advocate
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Dan Andrews Proves He’s Still Just Your Average Aussie Dad After Making A Bulk Order Of Jumbo Sized Wingless Pads — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact Despite angering many grown men (piss babies) on Twitter with his promise to provide free pads and tampons in public spaces, Victorian premier…

Continue Reading Dan Andrews Proves He’s Still Just Your Average Aussie Dad After Making A Bulk Order Of Jumbo Sized Wingless Pads — The Betoota Advocate
Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent
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Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than 24 hours until the Race That Stops The Nation, the same hashtags that once dominated social media before the pandemic…

Continue Reading Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent
#NupToTheCup Activist Not Sure If He's Got It In Him For A Third Year Of This Shit — The Betoota Advocate
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#NupToTheCup Activist Not Sure If He’s Got It In Him For A Third Year Of This Shit — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A Melbourne local has today revealed to The Advocate that he may do away with one of his favourite annual traditions. On the…

Continue Reading #NupToTheCup Activist Not Sure If He’s Got It In Him For A Third Year Of This Shit — The Betoota Advocate
Waiter Doesn’t Know How Much Trouble He’s In After Rich Old Duck’s Skim Decaf Cap Isn’t Hotter Than The Surface Of The Sun Like She Asked For
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Waiter Doesn’t Know How Much Trouble He’s In After Rich Old Duck’s Skim Decaf Cap Isn’t Hotter Than The Surface Of The Sun Like She Asked For

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The cafe inside a Betoota Grove shopping centre that’s a popular haunt for many of the old matriarchs of…

Continue Reading Waiter Doesn’t Know How Much Trouble He’s In After Rich Old Duck’s Skim Decaf Cap Isn’t Hotter Than The Surface Of The Sun Like She Asked For
Friendly Courier Has No Idea That He's Become The Scapegoat For Office Toilet Skid Marks — The Betoota Advocate
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Friendly Courier Has No Idea That He’s Become The Scapegoat For Office Toilet Skid Marks — The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A betrayal of the highest order has taken place in Betoota’s Old City District as an entire office comes together to blame the…

Continue Reading Friendly Courier Has No Idea That He’s Become The Scapegoat For Office Toilet Skid Marks — The Betoota Advocate
Local Girls Host Emergency Bathroom Summit To Remind Best Friend If He Wears Vans He’s No Good — The Betoota Advocate
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Local Girls Host Emergency Bathroom Summit To Remind Best Friend If He Wears Vans He’s No Good — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | Editor | CONTACT An emergency summit has been called in a Betoota nightclub this evening, as a group of friends attempt to protect their bestie…

Continue Reading Local Girls Host Emergency Bathroom Summit To Remind Best Friend If He Wears Vans He’s No Good — The Betoota Advocate
Arts Graduate Needs A Job But Feels He's Above Working In Any Sector Where There's A Shortage — The Betoota Advocate
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Arts Graduate Needs A Job But Feels He’s Above Working In Any Sector Where There’s A Shortage — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A well-meaning-ally to many is looking for a job, he says, but one where he can use his education…

Continue Reading Arts Graduate Needs A Job But Feels He’s Above Working In Any Sector Where There’s A Shortage — The Betoota Advocate