Tag: Country
Bank Confirms Closure Of Its Regional Branches Due To Country Folks Being Super Poor And Weird — The Betoota Advocate
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT Tanbarrar may be a quaint regional village set amongst gorgeous desert landscapes but its residents are finding it difficult…
The People Who Control Arts Funding In This Country Put Retirement Off After Government Turns Tap Back On — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The ageing terrace house dwellers that control what we local content we see and hear in this country are…
Pommy Bricklayer In A Shitty Mood Because He’s From A Stupid Country Thats Sucks At Soccer Bahaha — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After ten years in Australia, English construction worker Billy Blackpool (33) says he is still surprised by the cultural clashes he finds himself…
America Somehow Defeats A Middle Eastern Country Without Destabilising Their Democratic Process Through Illegal Military Operations
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The United States of America is celebrating a historic day today, after finally being able to successfully beat a Middle Eastern nation. After…
Lucky Ethnic Friend Always Has His Mother Country In Case Socceroos Come Home Next Week — The Betoota Advocate
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Soccer fan George La Polosovicski (32) is “beyond pumped” to see the Socceroos play on Saturday night and currently only has tentative…
Country Dad Surprised By How Attractive The Homeless People Are In The Big Smoke — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A dad visiting his daughter from Betoota Ponds has this week been left feeling quite confused, after discovering that things in the big…
A Federal Corruption Watchdog Is Not A Bad Shout, And I’m All For It, And Yes, If Any Of These Bastards Are Lining Their Own Pockets Then I Have No Problem Seeing Them Swing, But Before We Go And Grab Our Pitchforks, We Really Should Come To A General Consensus On What That Word ‘Corruption’ Actually Means, Particularly In Queensland, Ya Know My Mentor Sir Joh Was Always Written Off As Corrupt, But Really At The End Of The Day, Without Those Completely Unregulated Post-War Investments Flowing In From Japan, And All Those Comically Crooked Tender Processes, We Wouldn’t Have The Gold Coast, Now Would We? Let’s Not Forget The 1982 Commonwealth Games, A Real Coming Of Age For Brisbane… Mind You, I Do Find It Completely Pointless To Host A Gymnastics Event Without Any Chinese Or Russians Athletes Flying Around The Mat. But Nevertheless, It Was A Real Highlight For Brisbane. With No Help From Down South Either. I’ve Always Said That Those Lilypad Lefties At The ABC Cannot Tell The Difference Between Full Blown White Collar Crime And Something As Innocent As Immigrant Ambition. So A Couple Of Old Krauts Got Paid Out The Arse For A Job That Coulda Been Done For Half The Price? Who Cares? The Job Got Done Didn’t It? Who Do You Think Built These Bloody Railroads That Carried Us Through Multiple Mining Booms? Overpaid Ethnic Men, That’s Who. Proud Lutheran And Orthodox Men With Surnames Like Hinze, Thiess, Cilento. Or Those Mad Deen Brothers. My Goodness They Used To Make Me Laugh. Good Muslim Lads Who Could Weave A Demolition Wrecking Ball Through Even The Most Precious Heritage Listings. This Country Was Built On The Back Of People Like That. Innovative And Aspirational Queenslanders. Unflinching Patriots. Titans Of Industry That Prefer To Ask For Forgiveness Rather Than Permission — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a long election campaign of promising to lock up crooked politicians, The Australian government is set to introduce its long-awaited Federal Corruption…
Hunter Valley Retiree Lists Deathtrap Cubby House As Wine Country TreeHouse On AirBnB — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A Cessnock retiree is setting up a profitable side hustle today, listing the cubby house in his backyard as a luxury…
Country That Lets Lunatics Shoot Up Schools Moves To Protect Kids By Banning A Medical Procedure — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The United States Of America has once again shown why there needs to be a big fat asterisk next to its trademark slogan….
“Give Me Ten Good Blokes And A Dozen SLRs And I’ll Secure Our Gas Reserves And Make Sure None Of It, Not Even A Bic Lighter Of The Stuff, Gets Sent Overseas To Places Like China Or Some Other Bloody Place Because This Is Our Gas And I’ll Be Damned If We Sell It On For A Profit While Australian Families Are Shivering Their Way Through The Coldest Winter In Fifty Years, We Will Take The Fight To The Gas Exporters And This Isn’t The First Time I’ve Put A Hot Round Through The Patella (Which Is Latin For Kneecap) Of Some Corporate Johnny Who’s Selling Australia Down The River There’s A Million Wild Acres Of Country Out Past Julia Creek Where These Bastards Can Rot Under A Boree Tree When I’m Done With Them.” — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Member for Kennedy Bob Katter has unveiled his plan to make sure the gas shortage crisis is averted…