Tag: Corporate
Advice Column | Hiding Your Shame As A Featureless Corporate Shill At Social Gatherings — The Betoota Advocate
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT Like most corporate shills, my face is entirely featureless. The smooth orb resembles little more than a blown up…
Scotty Gets First Corporate Speaking Gig Opening For Willie Mason At Revesby Honda Dealership AGM — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Scotty From Marketing has today ended the speculation on what the fuck he plans to with himself career-wise, after nuking…
Corporate Johnnys Going Hell For Leather At The Pub This Tuesday Arvo Probably From Credit Suisse — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A group of suits filling themselves up with piss this afternoon down at the Lord Lehman Hotel in the…
“You Just Can’t Describe It” Says Corporate Woman Before Spending 2 Hours Describing Burning Man — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT A local woman is busy regaling tales of her travels this morning, to an audience of disinterested work colleagues who zoned…
Corporate Drone Rebels Against Dress Code With Silly Socks That Really Show Off His Zany Personality! — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A bloke who works for one of the ‘Big 4’ has this week showed that he’s not like other corporate drones, if the…
Corporate Fat Cat Offers Gracious Nod As Luncheon Waitress Tongs 2nd Dinner Roll Onto Side Plate — The Betoota Advocate
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT One of Betoota’s leading businessmen is praising the work of a hospitality staff today, quite pleased to be given some extra…
Corporate Drone Tries To Raise His Street Cred By Constantly Mentioning Past Life As A Bartender — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local accountant has revealed he may be harbouring some insecurities about having the most boring job on earth by yet again bringing…
Corporate Team-Building Exercise Reaffirms Mutual Disdain For Each Other And Workplace — The Betoota Advocate
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Despite robbing you of 12 hours of your day, the ability to do what you want and the option to have lunch in…
Bob Katter Tells Albanese To Just Say The Word And We Can Begin Nationalising The Energy Grids, It Can Be Swift, And It Can Be Bloodless, Unless They Want Otherwise. My Son Robbie And I Can Take Care Of Any Power Stations North Of The Brisbane Line, And Don’t You Dare Think For One Minute That The Proud People Of North Queensland Adhered To The 1996 Firearms Agreement, Because We Didn’t. We’ve Got Caches Of High-Powered Weapons Buried In Container Units Right Across The Gulf, And When We Liberate The Grid, You Can Tell Those Greedy Bastards At Telstra And The Commonwealth Bank That We’re Coming For Them Next. Australians Built These Institutions, And We Can Take Them Back, By Force If Need Be, And Let Me Just Say I Hope That It Is Needed, Because Where I’m From Snakes Get The Shovel, And If This Current Crisis Tells Us Anything, It’s That There’s A Den Of Poisonous Snakes Slithering Through Boardrooms From Brisbane To Hobart. Privatisation Serves No One But The Top End Of Town, And That’s What I’ve Been Warning These Useless Fools In Canberra For Half A Century Now. They’ve Buggered It All Up, And They Know It. Our Nation’s Greatest Assets Have Been Sold At Less Than Cost Price To The Sandstone Friends Of The Ruling Class, They’d Sell Them The ABC And Australia Post If We We Weren’t Looking. But That Ends Whenever You Say It Ends, Albanese, My Dear Friend. Let ‘Em Know We Are Ready, We’ll Take Back The TAB Too While We’re At It. Because Australians Deserve The Dignity Of Knowing That Every Time They Do Their Arse On The Punt, At Least Their Losses Are Being Spent Of Fixing Roads And Hospitals, Not Some Soul Sucking Corporate Villain’s Yacht. These Blue Blooded Cowards Thought I Was Joking When I Said Australia’s Not For Sale. Well It Isn’t, And They Can Find Out The Hard Way, If That’s What They Want.
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the boldest act of the new Labor Government, The Australian Energy Market Operator (AEMO) has been given full support to take the…
“Give Me Ten Good Blokes And A Dozen SLRs And I’ll Secure Our Gas Reserves And Make Sure None Of It, Not Even A Bic Lighter Of The Stuff, Gets Sent Overseas To Places Like China Or Some Other Bloody Place Because This Is Our Gas And I’ll Be Damned If We Sell It On For A Profit While Australian Families Are Shivering Their Way Through The Coldest Winter In Fifty Years, We Will Take The Fight To The Gas Exporters And This Isn’t The First Time I’ve Put A Hot Round Through The Patella (Which Is Latin For Kneecap) Of Some Corporate Johnny Who’s Selling Australia Down The River There’s A Million Wild Acres Of Country Out Past Julia Creek Where These Bastards Can Rot Under A Boree Tree When I’m Done With Them.” — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Member for Kennedy Bob Katter has unveiled his plan to make sure the gas shortage crisis is averted…