Tag: Blokes
Nation’s Women Urged To Avoid Blokes Who Rotate Between These Three Shoes — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact The nation’s bachelorettes has this week been armed with some tips to help them navigate the difficult dating scene, which will help them…
Blokes Who Complain About Women Driving Found To Prefer Cars With One Female Owner — The Betoota Advocate
CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| Contact Out on the street this week The Advocate asked some of our local constituents for their thoughts on women in motor vehicles. …
Blokes’ Mangled Toothbrush Pretty Good Indicator He’s Got Some Demons — The Betoota Advocate
MARIO STRADLATER | Local | Contact After waking with a pulsing hangover, Larissa Mainland (25) asked her romantic love interest from the previous night if she could use his…
Pauline Can’t Seem To Understand Why A Party Built On Cruelty And Bigotry Attracts Such Shit Blokes — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Federal Senator that gifted the Australian people with some of the memorable and tax-payer funded political geniuses in political history is…
Being Attracted To Military Blokes Linked To Having Your Heart Broken By Softcock Civilians — The Betoota Advocate
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Cynthia Flugle (24) of Betoota Heights has a particular type of bloke that she’s into and it’s not the type of bloke who…
Katter Says The Key To Tackling Inflation Is A Full-Tilt Return To A Cash-Only Economy Because It Seems That Every Purchase And Sale That We Document Be That By Pen And Paper Or Through One Of Those Wicked Card Machines Eventually Ends Up On A Balance Sheet And In An Economy Like This That Kind Of Information Can Make Some Cotton-Wool Wrapped Suits At The RBA Very Nervous I Mean Say What You Want About Immigrants But They Carry With Them An Engrained Adherence To A System Where The Government Doesn’t Need To Be Looking At Every Bloody Cent We Spend, Mind You, I Do Know Of A Few Blokes That Might’ve Got Bit Carried Away, Back In The Day Some Of These New Australians Were Bloody Good At Giving Gifts I’ll Tell Ya That Much For Free, It Took A Microscope And Thousands Of Public Servants To Deduce That Our Former Premier Sir Joh May Have Been Given A Few Aeroplane Hangars Packed With Close To Ten Million Dollars Worth Of Farming Machinery For No Reason Other Than The Fact He Was A Good Bloke – Poor Joh Didn’t Think Much Of It But He Paid For It In The End
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australians have been told to brace ourselves for even more inflation, as the international unrest of war, diplomatic break downs and natural disasters…
Katter Says He Was Completely Unaware That Anybody Had Problem With The Melbourne Cup Unless It’s Some Sort Of Intellectual Reaction To The Snobby Attitudes Of Those Patch-On-Elbow Blue Bloods At Victorian Racing I Mean It’s No Wonder These Kiwi And Arab Horses Keep Winning The Bloody Thing When There’s No Active Push To Include Homegrown Horses I Mean If You Wanna See A Real Race You Should You Head To The Windorah Gymkhana Out There In The Barcoo, Mind You She Was Lucky To Get A Start This Year Due To This Unseasonal Downfall That Always Makes It A Bit Dangerous To Be Riding Rank Station Ponies At Full Pelt In A Pair Of RMs and Molekskin Trousers, I Always Remember The First Time My Boy Robbie Tried To Jump In The Saddle For The Trot-Canter-Gallop Event When He Was A Young Fella, You See He’d Borrowed This Mare From My Mate Bucktooth Toovey Out The Back Of Isisford Anyway He’s Halfway Through This Race And Looking Alright Actually, About To Change Gears For The Sprint Until This Sand Goanna Comes Out Of Nowhere And Spooks The Poor Thing To High Heavens, My Son Robbie, Fresh From The Cowboys Young Guns Squad, After Getting Dropped For Playing Like A Girl Just Quietly, Gets Thrown Like A Cannonball Into A Crowd Of Rum-Swilling Ringers Who’d Come To Town For A Look, Well That’s What I Thought Anyway, Turns Out A Few Of Them Were What You’d Describe As Motorcycle Enthusiasts, The Type Of Blokes You’d Rather Miss And Land On A Cactus, Now Robbie Knew As Well As I Do That As A Cleanskin Politician His Old Man Can’t Be Getting Involved In Any Disputes With These Kind Of Outlaws, So I Sent In A Couple Of Brophy’s Tent Boxers Who Were Making Light Work Out Of The Shandy Bar Round The Corner, These Blokes Come Steaming Through Like The Burgess Brothers And By Joh You Shoulda Seen The Blue The Boys Put On, I Mean I Shouldn’t Laugh, But We Definitely Still Do Behind Closed Doors Over Christmas, I Had To Make A Lot Of Election Promises To Soothe Things Over With The Committee After That One But The Locals Still Reckon Those Tickets Were The Best Money Ever Spent
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With less than 24 hours until the Race That Stops The Nation, the same hashtags that once dominated social media before the pandemic…
Local Woman Sighs As Quick Snoop Through New Bloke’s Bathroom Cupboard Reveals Half Empty Olaplex Bottle — The Betoota Advocate
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact As local woman Nat Lindon tries to scrub the makeup off her face using some wads of wet toilet paper, she finds her…
Single Blokes Link Up For Some Good Old-Fashioned Power Drinking After Rain Scares Off The Sheilas — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Two young fellas from our town’s vapid, soulless Heights district are set to link up tonight for some good,…
Both Christians And Homosexuals Relieved To Not Hear This Bloke’s Opinion On Pride Jersey Saga — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The catastrophic binfire caused by the Manly Sea Eagles media team’s attempt to be the first NRL club to wear a LGBTI rainbow…