Tag: Bastards

Local Man Solves Rental Crisis By Taking Out All These Little Bastards With A Bolt Cutter — The Betoota Advocate
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Local Man Solves Rental Crisis By Taking Out All These Little Bastards With A Bolt Cutter — The Betoota Advocate

 Author: Stephen Bailey  Published Date: November 14, 2022

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local man has this month single-handedly solved the rental crisis in his city, by spending his nights perusing the streets looking for…

Continue Reading Local Man Solves Rental Crisis By Taking Out All These Little Bastards With A Bolt Cutter — The Betoota Advocate
A Federal Corruption Watchdog Is Not A Bad Shout, And I'm All For It, And Yes, If Any Of These Bastards Are Lining Their Own Pockets Then I Have No Problem Seeing Them Swing, But Before We Go And Grab Our Pitchforks, We Really Should Come To A General Consensus On What That Word 'Corruption' Actually Means, Particularly In Queensland, Ya Know My Mentor Sir Joh Was Always Written Off As Corrupt, But Really At The End Of The Day, Without Those Completely Unregulated Post-War Investments Flowing In From Japan, And All Those Comically Crooked Tender Processes, We Wouldn't Have The Gold Coast, Now Would We? Let's Not Forget The 1982 Commonwealth Games, A Real Coming Of Age For Brisbane... Mind You, I Do Find It Completely Pointless To Host A Gymnastics Event Without Any Chinese Or Russians Athletes Flying Around The Mat. But Nevertheless, It Was A Real Highlight For Brisbane. With No Help From Down South Either. I've Always Said That Those Lilypad Lefties At The ABC Cannot Tell The Difference Between Full Blown White Collar Crime And Something As Innocent As Immigrant Ambition. So A Couple Of Old Krauts Got Paid Out The Arse For A Job That Coulda Been Done For Half The Price? Who Cares? The Job Got Done Didn't It? Who Do You Think Built These Bloody Railroads That Carried Us Through Multiple Mining Booms? Overpaid Ethnic Men, That's Who. Proud Lutheran And Orthodox Men With Surnames Like Hinze, Thiess, Cilento. Or Those Mad Deen Brothers. My Goodness They Used To Make Me Laugh. Good Muslim Lads Who Could Weave A Demolition Wrecking Ball Through Even The Most Precious Heritage Listings. This Country Was Built On The Back Of People Like That. Innovative And Aspirational Queenslanders. Unflinching Patriots. Titans Of Industry That Prefer To Ask For Forgiveness Rather Than Permission — The Betoota Advocate
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A Federal Corruption Watchdog Is Not A Bad Shout, And I’m All For It, And Yes, If Any Of These Bastards Are Lining Their Own Pockets Then I Have No Problem Seeing Them Swing, But Before We Go And Grab Our Pitchforks, We Really Should Come To A General Consensus On What That Word ‘Corruption’ Actually Means, Particularly In Queensland, Ya Know My Mentor Sir Joh Was Always Written Off As Corrupt, But Really At The End Of The Day, Without Those Completely Unregulated Post-War Investments Flowing In From Japan, And All Those Comically Crooked Tender Processes, We Wouldn’t Have The Gold Coast, Now Would We? Let’s Not Forget The 1982 Commonwealth Games, A Real Coming Of Age For Brisbane… Mind You, I Do Find It Completely Pointless To Host A Gymnastics Event Without Any Chinese Or Russians Athletes Flying Around The Mat. But Nevertheless, It Was A Real Highlight For Brisbane. With No Help From Down South Either. I’ve Always Said That Those Lilypad Lefties At The ABC Cannot Tell The Difference Between Full Blown White Collar Crime And Something As Innocent As Immigrant Ambition. So A Couple Of Old Krauts Got Paid Out The Arse For A Job That Coulda Been Done For Half The Price? Who Cares? The Job Got Done Didn’t It? Who Do You Think Built These Bloody Railroads That Carried Us Through Multiple Mining Booms? Overpaid Ethnic Men, That’s Who. Proud Lutheran And Orthodox Men With Surnames Like Hinze, Thiess, Cilento. Or Those Mad Deen Brothers. My Goodness They Used To Make Me Laugh. Good Muslim Lads Who Could Weave A Demolition Wrecking Ball Through Even The Most Precious Heritage Listings. This Country Was Built On The Back Of People Like That. Innovative And Aspirational Queenslanders. Unflinching Patriots. Titans Of Industry That Prefer To Ask For Forgiveness Rather Than Permission — The Betoota Advocate

 Author: Stephen Bailey  Published Date: September 26, 2022

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a long election campaign of promising to lock up crooked politicians, The Australian government is set to introduce its long-awaited Federal Corruption…

Continue Reading A Federal Corruption Watchdog Is Not A Bad Shout, And I’m All For It, And Yes, If Any Of These Bastards Are Lining Their Own Pockets Then I Have No Problem Seeing Them Swing, But Before We Go And Grab Our Pitchforks, We Really Should Come To A General Consensus On What That Word ‘Corruption’ Actually Means, Particularly In Queensland, Ya Know My Mentor Sir Joh Was Always Written Off As Corrupt, But Really At The End Of The Day, Without Those Completely Unregulated Post-War Investments Flowing In From Japan, And All Those Comically Crooked Tender Processes, We Wouldn’t Have The Gold Coast, Now Would We? Let’s Not Forget The 1982 Commonwealth Games, A Real Coming Of Age For Brisbane… Mind You, I Do Find It Completely Pointless To Host A Gymnastics Event Without Any Chinese Or Russians Athletes Flying Around The Mat. But Nevertheless, It Was A Real Highlight For Brisbane. With No Help From Down South Either. I’ve Always Said That Those Lilypad Lefties At The ABC Cannot Tell The Difference Between Full Blown White Collar Crime And Something As Innocent As Immigrant Ambition. So A Couple Of Old Krauts Got Paid Out The Arse For A Job That Coulda Been Done For Half The Price? Who Cares? The Job Got Done Didn’t It? Who Do You Think Built These Bloody Railroads That Carried Us Through Multiple Mining Booms? Overpaid Ethnic Men, That’s Who. Proud Lutheran And Orthodox Men With Surnames Like Hinze, Thiess, Cilento. Or Those Mad Deen Brothers. My Goodness They Used To Make Me Laugh. Good Muslim Lads Who Could Weave A Demolition Wrecking Ball Through Even The Most Precious Heritage Listings. This Country Was Built On The Back Of People Like That. Innovative And Aspirational Queenslanders. Unflinching Patriots. Titans Of Industry That Prefer To Ask For Forgiveness Rather Than Permission — The Betoota Advocate
Katter Says He Is Willing To Back An Indigenous Voice To Parliament But It Would Make More Sense To Have A Black Upper House And A Black Lower House That Operates Within The Current Federal System, We Should Let The Murris And The Torres Strait Islanders Effectively Run A Black Senate Just To Double Check Everything The Southern Mob Puts Forward, Because If I’m Honest, And My Opinions Might Be Heavily Influenced By Rugby League, But Nevertheless, There’s Something To Be Said About The Solutions-Based Approach We See In Queensland Politics, Black And White, And Yes, I’m Well Aware That Our First Nations Brother-Cousins Don’t Necessarily Acknowledge State Borders, And Neither Do I, Really, As Far As I’m Concerned Anywhere South Of Bundaberg Is A Suburb Of Sydney, And The Only Border I’m Ready To Acknowledge Is The Brisbane Line, Which Was By Far The Most Cowardly Defence Proposal In The History Of Modern Military Strategy, Formulated By Those Bastards In Canberra During World War II To Concede The Northern Portion Of The Australian Continent To The Japanese So They Could Prioritise The Blue-Blooded Farming Plains Of New South Wales And Those Victorian One-Horse Brothel Towns That Ran Out Of Gold When Ned Kelly Was In Nappies, I’m Not Here Trying To Complicate Things, But It’s Worth Remembering That They Blew Up Our Inland Bridges And Major Ports And Left Us For Dead In The Face Of An Aggressive Foreign Army Chockablock With Soldiers Willing To Literally Fly Their Fighter Planes Into Defence Targets For Love Of Empire, It Makes Me Sick To Think About That Disgraceful Chapter In Our Country’s History, And This Complacency, Which Borders On Treason, Has Not Been Forgotten, Queenslanders, Black And White, Harbour A Deep Distrust For The Southern Elite To This Very Day, Mind You, The Ngarrindjeri Mob Down There On The Lower Murray River, I Don’t Mind The Cut Of Their Jib, I Spose Maybe We Can Have Them Operating Some Sort Of A Black Cross Bench, Like The Black Teals, Or The Black Katters, That’s Not A Bad Idea At All, I Mean, Really, What I’m Putting Forward Here, It’s Quite Simple When You Think About It
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Katter Says He Is Willing To Back An Indigenous Voice To Parliament But It Would Make More Sense To Have A Black Upper House And A Black Lower House That Operates Within The Current Federal System, We Should Let The Murris And The Torres Strait Islanders Effectively Run A Black Senate Just To Double Check Everything The Southern Mob Puts Forward, Because If I’m Honest, And My Opinions Might Be Heavily Influenced By Rugby League, But Nevertheless, There’s Something To Be Said About The Solutions-Based Approach We See In Queensland Politics, Black And White, And Yes, I’m Well Aware That Our First Nations Brother-Cousins Don’t Necessarily Acknowledge State Borders, And Neither Do I, Really, As Far As I’m Concerned Anywhere South Of Bundaberg Is A Suburb Of Sydney, And The Only Border I’m Ready To Acknowledge Is The Brisbane Line, Which Was By Far The Most Cowardly Defence Proposal In The History Of Modern Military Strategy, Formulated By Those Bastards In Canberra During World War II To Concede The Northern Portion Of The Australian Continent To The Japanese So They Could Prioritise The Blue-Blooded Farming Plains Of New South Wales And Those Victorian One-Horse Brothel Towns That Ran Out Of Gold When Ned Kelly Was In Nappies, I’m Not Here Trying To Complicate Things, But It’s Worth Remembering That They Blew Up Our Inland Bridges And Major Ports And Left Us For Dead In The Face Of An Aggressive Foreign Army Chockablock With Soldiers Willing To Literally Fly Their Fighter Planes Into Defence Targets For Love Of Empire, It Makes Me Sick To Think About That Disgraceful Chapter In Our Country’s History, And This Complacency, Which Borders On Treason, Has Not Been Forgotten, Queenslanders, Black And White, Harbour A Deep Distrust For The Southern Elite To This Very Day, Mind You, The Ngarrindjeri Mob Down There On The Lower Murray River, I Don’t Mind The Cut Of Their Jib, I Spose Maybe We Can Have Them Operating Some Sort Of A Black Cross Bench, Like The Black Teals, Or The Black Katters, That’s Not A Bad Idea At All, I Mean, Really, What I’m Putting Forward Here, It’s Quite Simple When You Think About It

 Author: Stephen Bailey  Published Date: August 1, 2022

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s has put the proposed referendum on constitutional recognition of Indigenous people front and centre over the weekend, during his…

Continue Reading Katter Says He Is Willing To Back An Indigenous Voice To Parliament But It Would Make More Sense To Have A Black Upper House And A Black Lower House That Operates Within The Current Federal System, We Should Let The Murris And The Torres Strait Islanders Effectively Run A Black Senate Just To Double Check Everything The Southern Mob Puts Forward, Because If I’m Honest, And My Opinions Might Be Heavily Influenced By Rugby League, But Nevertheless, There’s Something To Be Said About The Solutions-Based Approach We See In Queensland Politics, Black And White, And Yes, I’m Well Aware That Our First Nations Brother-Cousins Don’t Necessarily Acknowledge State Borders, And Neither Do I, Really, As Far As I’m Concerned Anywhere South Of Bundaberg Is A Suburb Of Sydney, And The Only Border I’m Ready To Acknowledge Is The Brisbane Line, Which Was By Far The Most Cowardly Defence Proposal In The History Of Modern Military Strategy, Formulated By Those Bastards In Canberra During World War II To Concede The Northern Portion Of The Australian Continent To The Japanese So They Could Prioritise The Blue-Blooded Farming Plains Of New South Wales And Those Victorian One-Horse Brothel Towns That Ran Out Of Gold When Ned Kelly Was In Nappies, I’m Not Here Trying To Complicate Things, But It’s Worth Remembering That They Blew Up Our Inland Bridges And Major Ports And Left Us For Dead In The Face Of An Aggressive Foreign Army Chockablock With Soldiers Willing To Literally Fly Their Fighter Planes Into Defence Targets For Love Of Empire, It Makes Me Sick To Think About That Disgraceful Chapter In Our Country’s History, And This Complacency, Which Borders On Treason, Has Not Been Forgotten, Queenslanders, Black And White, Harbour A Deep Distrust For The Southern Elite To This Very Day, Mind You, The Ngarrindjeri Mob Down There On The Lower Murray River, I Don’t Mind The Cut Of Their Jib, I Spose Maybe We Can Have Them Operating Some Sort Of A Black Cross Bench, Like The Black Teals, Or The Black Katters, That’s Not A Bad Idea At All, I Mean, Really, What I’m Putting Forward Here, It’s Quite Simple When You Think About It
Bob Katter Tells Albanese To Just Say The Word And We Can Begin Nationalising The Energy Grids, It Can Be Swift, And It Can Be Bloodless, Unless They Want Otherwise. My Son Robbie And I Can Take Care Of Any Power Stations North Of The Brisbane Line, And Don’t You Dare Think For One Minute That The Proud People Of North Queensland Adhered To The 1996 Firearms Agreement, Because We Didn’t. We’ve Got Caches Of High-Powered Weapons Buried In Container Units Right Across The Gulf, And When We Liberate The Grid, You Can Tell Those Greedy Bastards At Telstra And The Commonwealth Bank That We’re Coming For Them Next. Australians Built These Institutions, And We Can Take Them Back, By Force If Need Be, And Let Me Just Say I Hope That It Is Needed, Because Where I’m From Snakes Get The Shovel, And If This Current Crisis Tells Us Anything, It’s That There’s A Den Of Poisonous Snakes Slithering Through Boardrooms From Brisbane To Hobart. Privatisation Serves No One But The Top End Of Town, And That’s What I’ve Been Warning These Useless Fools In Canberra For Half A Century Now. They’ve Buggered It All Up, And They Know It. Our Nation’s Greatest Assets Have Been Sold At Less Than Cost Price To The Sandstone Friends Of The Ruling Class, They’d Sell Them The ABC And Australia Post If We We Weren’t Looking. But That Ends Whenever You Say It Ends, Albanese, My Dear Friend. Let ‘Em Know We Are Ready, We’ll Take Back The TAB Too While We’re At It. Because Australians Deserve The Dignity Of Knowing That Every Time They Do Their Arse On The Punt, At Least Their Losses Are Being Spent Of Fixing Roads And Hospitals, Not Some Soul Sucking Corporate Villain’s Yacht. These Blue Blooded Cowards Thought I Was Joking When I Said Australia’s Not For Sale. Well It Isn’t, And They Can Find Out The Hard Way, If That’s What They Want.
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Bob Katter Tells Albanese To Just Say The Word And We Can Begin Nationalising The Energy Grids, It Can Be Swift, And It Can Be Bloodless, Unless They Want Otherwise. My Son Robbie And I Can Take Care Of Any Power Stations North Of The Brisbane Line, And Don’t You Dare Think For One Minute That The Proud People Of North Queensland Adhered To The 1996 Firearms Agreement, Because We Didn’t. We’ve Got Caches Of High-Powered Weapons Buried In Container Units Right Across The Gulf, And When We Liberate The Grid, You Can Tell Those Greedy Bastards At Telstra And The Commonwealth Bank That We’re Coming For Them Next. Australians Built These Institutions, And We Can Take Them Back, By Force If Need Be, And Let Me Just Say I Hope That It Is Needed, Because Where I’m From Snakes Get The Shovel, And If This Current Crisis Tells Us Anything, It’s That There’s A Den Of Poisonous Snakes Slithering Through Boardrooms From Brisbane To Hobart. Privatisation Serves No One But The Top End Of Town, And That’s What I’ve Been Warning These Useless Fools In Canberra For Half A Century Now. They’ve Buggered It All Up, And They Know It. Our Nation’s Greatest Assets Have Been Sold At Less Than Cost Price To The Sandstone Friends Of The Ruling Class, They’d Sell Them The ABC And Australia Post If We We Weren’t Looking. But That Ends Whenever You Say It Ends, Albanese, My Dear Friend. Let ‘Em Know We Are Ready, We’ll Take Back The TAB Too While We’re At It. Because Australians Deserve The Dignity Of Knowing That Every Time They Do Their Arse On The Punt, At Least Their Losses Are Being Spent Of Fixing Roads And Hospitals, Not Some Soul Sucking Corporate Villain’s Yacht. These Blue Blooded Cowards Thought I Was Joking When I Said Australia’s Not For Sale. Well It Isn’t, And They Can Find Out The Hard Way, If That’s What They Want.

 Author: Stephen Bailey  Published Date: June 16, 2022

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the boldest act of the new Labor Government, The Australian Energy Market Operator (AEMO) has been given full support to take the…

Continue Reading Bob Katter Tells Albanese To Just Say The Word And We Can Begin Nationalising The Energy Grids, It Can Be Swift, And It Can Be Bloodless, Unless They Want Otherwise. My Son Robbie And I Can Take Care Of Any Power Stations North Of The Brisbane Line, And Don’t You Dare Think For One Minute That The Proud People Of North Queensland Adhered To The 1996 Firearms Agreement, Because We Didn’t. We’ve Got Caches Of High-Powered Weapons Buried In Container Units Right Across The Gulf, And When We Liberate The Grid, You Can Tell Those Greedy Bastards At Telstra And The Commonwealth Bank That We’re Coming For Them Next. Australians Built These Institutions, And We Can Take Them Back, By Force If Need Be, And Let Me Just Say I Hope That It Is Needed, Because Where I’m From Snakes Get The Shovel, And If This Current Crisis Tells Us Anything, It’s That There’s A Den Of Poisonous Snakes Slithering Through Boardrooms From Brisbane To Hobart. Privatisation Serves No One But The Top End Of Town, And That’s What I’ve Been Warning These Useless Fools In Canberra For Half A Century Now. They’ve Buggered It All Up, And They Know It. Our Nation’s Greatest Assets Have Been Sold At Less Than Cost Price To The Sandstone Friends Of The Ruling Class, They’d Sell Them The ABC And Australia Post If We We Weren’t Looking. But That Ends Whenever You Say It Ends, Albanese, My Dear Friend. Let ‘Em Know We Are Ready, We’ll Take Back The TAB Too While We’re At It. Because Australians Deserve The Dignity Of Knowing That Every Time They Do Their Arse On The Punt, At Least Their Losses Are Being Spent Of Fixing Roads And Hospitals, Not Some Soul Sucking Corporate Villain’s Yacht. These Blue Blooded Cowards Thought I Was Joking When I Said Australia’s Not For Sale. Well It Isn’t, And They Can Find Out The Hard Way, If That’s What They Want.
"Give Me Ten Good Blokes And A Dozen SLRs And I'll Secure Our Gas Reserves And Make Sure None Of It, Not Even A Bic Lighter Of The Stuff, Gets Sent Overseas To Places Like China Or Some Other Bloody Place Because This Is Our Gas And I'll Be Damned If We Sell It On For A Profit While Australian Families Are Shivering Their Way Through The Coldest Winter In Fifty Years, We Will Take The Fight To The Gas Exporters And This Isn't The First Time I've Put A Hot Round Through The Patella (Which Is Latin For Kneecap) Of Some Corporate Johnny Who's Selling Australia Down The River There's A Million Wild Acres Of Country Out Past Julia Creek Where These Bastards Can Rot Under A Boree Tree When I'm Done With Them." — The Betoota Advocate
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“Give Me Ten Good Blokes And A Dozen SLRs And I’ll Secure Our Gas Reserves And Make Sure None Of It, Not Even A Bic Lighter Of The Stuff, Gets Sent Overseas To Places Like China Or Some Other Bloody Place Because This Is Our Gas And I’ll Be Damned If We Sell It On For A Profit While Australian Families Are Shivering Their Way Through The Coldest Winter In Fifty Years, We Will Take The Fight To The Gas Exporters And This Isn’t The First Time I’ve Put A Hot Round Through The Patella (Which Is Latin For Kneecap) Of Some Corporate Johnny Who’s Selling Australia Down The River There’s A Million Wild Acres Of Country Out Past Julia Creek Where These Bastards Can Rot Under A Boree Tree When I’m Done With Them.” — The Betoota Advocate

 Author: Stephen Bailey  Published Date: June 7, 2022

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Member for Kennedy Bob Katter has unveiled his plan to make sure the gas shortage crisis is averted…

Continue Reading “Give Me Ten Good Blokes And A Dozen SLRs And I’ll Secure Our Gas Reserves And Make Sure None Of It, Not Even A Bic Lighter Of The Stuff, Gets Sent Overseas To Places Like China Or Some Other Bloody Place Because This Is Our Gas And I’ll Be Damned If We Sell It On For A Profit While Australian Families Are Shivering Their Way Through The Coldest Winter In Fifty Years, We Will Take The Fight To The Gas Exporters And This Isn’t The First Time I’ve Put A Hot Round Through The Patella (Which Is Latin For Kneecap) Of Some Corporate Johnny Who’s Selling Australia Down The River There’s A Million Wild Acres Of Country Out Past Julia Creek Where These Bastards Can Rot Under A Boree Tree When I’m Done With Them.” — The Betoota Advocate
Old Maskless Bastards On The Bus Reckon The Rest Of Us Are Still Wearing Them For Fun — The Betoota Advocate
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Old Maskless Bastards On The Bus Reckon The Rest Of Us Are Still Wearing Them For Fun — The Betoota Advocate

 Author: Stephen Bailey  Published Date: June 7, 2022

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Masks may be mandated on public transport but the enforcement differs from bus to bus, which is something a…

Continue Reading Old Maskless Bastards On The Bus Reckon The Rest Of Us Are Still Wearing Them For Fun — The Betoota Advocate