Tag: Bank
Man Granted Conditional Approval From Bank Of Mum & Dad To Go And Get Fucked — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A prospective homebuyer from our town’s north has been laughed at this afternoon by his own parents after he…
Bank Confirms Closure Of Its Regional Branches Due To Country Folks Being Super Poor And Weird — The Betoota Advocate
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT Tanbarrar may be a quaint regional village set amongst gorgeous desert landscapes but its residents are finding it difficult…
Bank Woos New Customers With Free Set Of Steak Knives For Every New Home Loan Over $750,000 — The Betoota Advocate
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | Contact The Bank of Betoota (BOB) has put the rest of the Big Five on notice this morning after it created a paradigm shift…
Comm Bank Confirm Their Record $5.1 Billion Profit Is A Necessary Part Of Curbing Inflation — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The Commonwealth Bank of Australia has today confirmed that everything is working the way it should be. After months and months of rate…
RBA Boss Philip Lowe Suggests People Struggling To Service Mortgage On Their ColorBond Shitbox Should Talk To Their Bank About Why In Fuck’s Name They Let Them Borrow The $1.5m In The First Place
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Reserve Bank Chief Philip Lowe says he’s only playing the hand life’s given him as he struggles to kill…
Advice Column | Becoming Your Own Man Through The Bank Of Mum And Dad — The Betoota Advocate
DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT I don’t usually identify as an early adopter of new things. Yet I know I was way ahead of…
QLD Government Cover South Bank With Cotton Farms To Prevent Further Flooding In 3rd La Nina — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Both the Queensland Government and Brisbane City Council are preparing for the 3rd La Ninã weather system, which is expected to cause widespread…
Bank Of Mum & Dad Homeloan Application Includes Strict Grandchildren Clause — The Betoota Advocate
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With higher interest rates resulting in a reduced borrowing capacity, and the whole housing market already being a massively overpriced chode to begin…
RBA Governor Says “Fuck Mortgage Holders. Take Money” During Expletive-Laden Rant To Bank Executives — The Betoota Advocate
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Reserve Bank Governor Phillip Lowe has sensationally lashed mortgage holders this morning in a firey, expletive-laden rant to leading…
Home Owning 20 Something In Europe Relieved To Hear Bank Of Mum & Dad Won’t Pass Rate Hike On — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT A man enjoying a 5-week holiday in Southern Europe is very relieved today, it can be confirmed. Speaking to The Advocate a short…