Bloke Calling Out How Pathetic Mainstream Journalism Is These Days Somehow The Bad Guy — The Betoota Advocate
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Bloke Calling Out How Pathetic Mainstream Journalism Is These Days Somehow The Bad Guy — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Prince Harry is under fire this week for pointing out that mainstream journalism is largely done to a poor…

Continue Reading Bloke Calling Out How Pathetic Mainstream Journalism Is These Days Somehow The Bad Guy — The Betoota Advocate
Man Who Peaked In High School Finally Removes Bad Boy Club Sticker From Hyundai Excel — The Betoota Advocate
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Man Who Peaked In High School Finally Removes Bad Boy Club Sticker From Hyundai Excel — The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Tuesday marked the end of an era for self-assessed legend Pauly “the man” Denso as he tearfully removed the remnants of the faded…

Continue Reading Man Who Peaked In High School Finally Removes Bad Boy Club Sticker From Hyundai Excel — The Betoota Advocate
Local 30 Year Old Feeling Cheated As Hangover Anxiousness Now As Bad As A Comedown — The Betoota Advocate
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Local 30 Year Old Feeling Cheated As Hangover Anxiousness Now As Bad As A Comedown — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact A local woman has this weekend learned one of the harshest lessons of adulthood – whatever vice used to bring you joy, will…

Continue Reading Local 30 Year Old Feeling Cheated As Hangover Anxiousness Now As Bad As A Comedown — The Betoota Advocate
Loyal Mate Exhales Heavily Before Blindly Reassuring Friend That Her Drunken Antics Weren't That Bad — The Betoota Advocate
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Loyal Mate Exhales Heavily Before Blindly Reassuring Friend That Her Drunken Antics Weren’t That Bad — The Betoota Advocate

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | Contact An unswervingly loyal mate has this week tried her darned hardest to reassure their friend that her drunken weekend antics weren’t that bad,…

Continue Reading Loyal Mate Exhales Heavily Before Blindly Reassuring Friend That Her Drunken Antics Weren’t That Bad — The Betoota Advocate
Why A Housing Market Collapse Is Bad News For Me And My Deadshit Kids Who Are Waiting For Me To Die — The Betoota Advocate
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Why A Housing Market Collapse Is Bad News For Me And My Deadshit Kids Who Are Waiting For Me To Die — The Betoota Advocate

HARVEY THOMAS | Opinion | Contact Here I sit in the kitchen of my favourite home (which I probably have to refer to as they/them now) staring at an…

Continue Reading Why A Housing Market Collapse Is Bad News For Me And My Deadshit Kids Who Are Waiting For Me To Die — The Betoota Advocate
A Federal Corruption Watchdog Is Not A Bad Shout, And I'm All For It, And Yes, If Any Of These Bastards Are Lining Their Own Pockets Then I Have No Problem Seeing Them Swing, But Before We Go And Grab Our Pitchforks, We Really Should Come To A General Consensus On What That Word 'Corruption' Actually Means, Particularly In Queensland, Ya Know My Mentor Sir Joh Was Always Written Off As Corrupt, But Really At The End Of The Day, Without Those Completely Unregulated Post-War Investments Flowing In From Japan, And All Those Comically Crooked Tender Processes, We Wouldn't Have The Gold Coast, Now Would We? Let's Not Forget The 1982 Commonwealth Games, A Real Coming Of Age For Brisbane... Mind You, I Do Find It Completely Pointless To Host A Gymnastics Event Without Any Chinese Or Russians Athletes Flying Around The Mat. But Nevertheless, It Was A Real Highlight For Brisbane. With No Help From Down South Either. I've Always Said That Those Lilypad Lefties At The ABC Cannot Tell The Difference Between Full Blown White Collar Crime And Something As Innocent As Immigrant Ambition. So A Couple Of Old Krauts Got Paid Out The Arse For A Job That Coulda Been Done For Half The Price? Who Cares? The Job Got Done Didn't It? Who Do You Think Built These Bloody Railroads That Carried Us Through Multiple Mining Booms? Overpaid Ethnic Men, That's Who. Proud Lutheran And Orthodox Men With Surnames Like Hinze, Thiess, Cilento. Or Those Mad Deen Brothers. My Goodness They Used To Make Me Laugh. Good Muslim Lads Who Could Weave A Demolition Wrecking Ball Through Even The Most Precious Heritage Listings. This Country Was Built On The Back Of People Like That. Innovative And Aspirational Queenslanders. Unflinching Patriots. Titans Of Industry That Prefer To Ask For Forgiveness Rather Than Permission — The Betoota Advocate
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A Federal Corruption Watchdog Is Not A Bad Shout, And I’m All For It, And Yes, If Any Of These Bastards Are Lining Their Own Pockets Then I Have No Problem Seeing Them Swing, But Before We Go And Grab Our Pitchforks, We Really Should Come To A General Consensus On What That Word ‘Corruption’ Actually Means, Particularly In Queensland, Ya Know My Mentor Sir Joh Was Always Written Off As Corrupt, But Really At The End Of The Day, Without Those Completely Unregulated Post-War Investments Flowing In From Japan, And All Those Comically Crooked Tender Processes, We Wouldn’t Have The Gold Coast, Now Would We? Let’s Not Forget The 1982 Commonwealth Games, A Real Coming Of Age For Brisbane… Mind You, I Do Find It Completely Pointless To Host A Gymnastics Event Without Any Chinese Or Russians Athletes Flying Around The Mat. But Nevertheless, It Was A Real Highlight For Brisbane. With No Help From Down South Either. I’ve Always Said That Those Lilypad Lefties At The ABC Cannot Tell The Difference Between Full Blown White Collar Crime And Something As Innocent As Immigrant Ambition. So A Couple Of Old Krauts Got Paid Out The Arse For A Job That Coulda Been Done For Half The Price? Who Cares? The Job Got Done Didn’t It? Who Do You Think Built These Bloody Railroads That Carried Us Through Multiple Mining Booms? Overpaid Ethnic Men, That’s Who. Proud Lutheran And Orthodox Men With Surnames Like Hinze, Thiess, Cilento. Or Those Mad Deen Brothers. My Goodness They Used To Make Me Laugh. Good Muslim Lads Who Could Weave A Demolition Wrecking Ball Through Even The Most Precious Heritage Listings. This Country Was Built On The Back Of People Like That. Innovative And Aspirational Queenslanders. Unflinching Patriots. Titans Of Industry That Prefer To Ask For Forgiveness Rather Than Permission — The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After a long election campaign of promising to lock up crooked politicians, The Australian government is set to introduce its long-awaited Federal Corruption…

Continue Reading A Federal Corruption Watchdog Is Not A Bad Shout, And I’m All For It, And Yes, If Any Of These Bastards Are Lining Their Own Pockets Then I Have No Problem Seeing Them Swing, But Before We Go And Grab Our Pitchforks, We Really Should Come To A General Consensus On What That Word ‘Corruption’ Actually Means, Particularly In Queensland, Ya Know My Mentor Sir Joh Was Always Written Off As Corrupt, But Really At The End Of The Day, Without Those Completely Unregulated Post-War Investments Flowing In From Japan, And All Those Comically Crooked Tender Processes, We Wouldn’t Have The Gold Coast, Now Would We? Let’s Not Forget The 1982 Commonwealth Games, A Real Coming Of Age For Brisbane… Mind You, I Do Find It Completely Pointless To Host A Gymnastics Event Without Any Chinese Or Russians Athletes Flying Around The Mat. But Nevertheless, It Was A Real Highlight For Brisbane. With No Help From Down South Either. I’ve Always Said That Those Lilypad Lefties At The ABC Cannot Tell The Difference Between Full Blown White Collar Crime And Something As Innocent As Immigrant Ambition. So A Couple Of Old Krauts Got Paid Out The Arse For A Job That Coulda Been Done For Half The Price? Who Cares? The Job Got Done Didn’t It? Who Do You Think Built These Bloody Railroads That Carried Us Through Multiple Mining Booms? Overpaid Ethnic Men, That’s Who. Proud Lutheran And Orthodox Men With Surnames Like Hinze, Thiess, Cilento. Or Those Mad Deen Brothers. My Goodness They Used To Make Me Laugh. Good Muslim Lads Who Could Weave A Demolition Wrecking Ball Through Even The Most Precious Heritage Listings. This Country Was Built On The Back Of People Like That. Innovative And Aspirational Queenslanders. Unflinching Patriots. Titans Of Industry That Prefer To Ask For Forgiveness Rather Than Permission — The Betoota Advocate
Bad Boy Harvey Norman Salesman Eyeing Up New Gig At JB HI-FI After Getting Hectic Forearm Tattoo — The Betoota Advocate
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Bad Boy Harvey Norman Salesman Eyeing Up New Gig At JB HI-FI After Getting Hectic Forearm Tattoo — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A rebellious TV sales specialist is believed to be updating his resume this week, as he weighs up the opportunity to join the…

Continue Reading Bad Boy Harvey Norman Salesman Eyeing Up New Gig At JB HI-FI After Getting Hectic Forearm Tattoo — The Betoota Advocate
"Officer, I Swear It's Just Anti-Inflammatory Powder! I Have A Bad Back! Noooo!" — The Betoota Advocate
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“Officer, I Swear It’s Just Anti-Inflammatory Powder! I Have A Bad Back! Noooo!” — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter finance worker assured officers from the City of Betoota Municipal Police this afternoon that the small…

Continue Reading “Officer, I Swear It’s Just Anti-Inflammatory Powder! I Have A Bad Back! Noooo!” — The Betoota Advocate
Nation's Secretly Tender Bad Boys Break Out The Greaser Jackets In Tribute To Their First Love — The Betoota Advocate
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Nation’s Secretly Tender Bad Boys Break Out The Greaser Jackets In Tribute To Their First Love — The Betoota Advocate

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australians of all ages are today mourning the first woman they were hopelessly devoted to, Olivia Newton-John. Colloquially known as ‘The Neutron Bomb’…

Continue Reading Nation’s Secretly Tender Bad Boys Break Out The Greaser Jackets In Tribute To Their First Love — The Betoota Advocate
Katter Says He Is Willing To Back An Indigenous Voice To Parliament But It Would Make More Sense To Have A Black Upper House And A Black Lower House That Operates Within The Current Federal System, We Should Let The Murris And The Torres Strait Islanders Effectively Run A Black Senate Just To Double Check Everything The Southern Mob Puts Forward, Because If I’m Honest, And My Opinions Might Be Heavily Influenced By Rugby League, But Nevertheless, There’s Something To Be Said About The Solutions-Based Approach We See In Queensland Politics, Black And White, And Yes, I’m Well Aware That Our First Nations Brother-Cousins Don’t Necessarily Acknowledge State Borders, And Neither Do I, Really, As Far As I’m Concerned Anywhere South Of Bundaberg Is A Suburb Of Sydney, And The Only Border I’m Ready To Acknowledge Is The Brisbane Line, Which Was By Far The Most Cowardly Defence Proposal In The History Of Modern Military Strategy, Formulated By Those Bastards In Canberra During World War II To Concede The Northern Portion Of The Australian Continent To The Japanese So They Could Prioritise The Blue-Blooded Farming Plains Of New South Wales And Those Victorian One-Horse Brothel Towns That Ran Out Of Gold When Ned Kelly Was In Nappies, I’m Not Here Trying To Complicate Things, But It’s Worth Remembering That They Blew Up Our Inland Bridges And Major Ports And Left Us For Dead In The Face Of An Aggressive Foreign Army Chockablock With Soldiers Willing To Literally Fly Their Fighter Planes Into Defence Targets For Love Of Empire, It Makes Me Sick To Think About That Disgraceful Chapter In Our Country’s History, And This Complacency, Which Borders On Treason, Has Not Been Forgotten, Queenslanders, Black And White, Harbour A Deep Distrust For The Southern Elite To This Very Day, Mind You, The Ngarrindjeri Mob Down There On The Lower Murray River, I Don’t Mind The Cut Of Their Jib, I Spose Maybe We Can Have Them Operating Some Sort Of A Black Cross Bench, Like The Black Teals, Or The Black Katters, That’s Not A Bad Idea At All, I Mean, Really, What I’m Putting Forward Here, It’s Quite Simple When You Think About It
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Katter Says He Is Willing To Back An Indigenous Voice To Parliament But It Would Make More Sense To Have A Black Upper House And A Black Lower House That Operates Within The Current Federal System, We Should Let The Murris And The Torres Strait Islanders Effectively Run A Black Senate Just To Double Check Everything The Southern Mob Puts Forward, Because If I’m Honest, And My Opinions Might Be Heavily Influenced By Rugby League, But Nevertheless, There’s Something To Be Said About The Solutions-Based Approach We See In Queensland Politics, Black And White, And Yes, I’m Well Aware That Our First Nations Brother-Cousins Don’t Necessarily Acknowledge State Borders, And Neither Do I, Really, As Far As I’m Concerned Anywhere South Of Bundaberg Is A Suburb Of Sydney, And The Only Border I’m Ready To Acknowledge Is The Brisbane Line, Which Was By Far The Most Cowardly Defence Proposal In The History Of Modern Military Strategy, Formulated By Those Bastards In Canberra During World War II To Concede The Northern Portion Of The Australian Continent To The Japanese So They Could Prioritise The Blue-Blooded Farming Plains Of New South Wales And Those Victorian One-Horse Brothel Towns That Ran Out Of Gold When Ned Kelly Was In Nappies, I’m Not Here Trying To Complicate Things, But It’s Worth Remembering That They Blew Up Our Inland Bridges And Major Ports And Left Us For Dead In The Face Of An Aggressive Foreign Army Chockablock With Soldiers Willing To Literally Fly Their Fighter Planes Into Defence Targets For Love Of Empire, It Makes Me Sick To Think About That Disgraceful Chapter In Our Country’s History, And This Complacency, Which Borders On Treason, Has Not Been Forgotten, Queenslanders, Black And White, Harbour A Deep Distrust For The Southern Elite To This Very Day, Mind You, The Ngarrindjeri Mob Down There On The Lower Murray River, I Don’t Mind The Cut Of Their Jib, I Spose Maybe We Can Have Them Operating Some Sort Of A Black Cross Bench, Like The Black Teals, Or The Black Katters, That’s Not A Bad Idea At All, I Mean, Really, What I’m Putting Forward Here, It’s Quite Simple When You Think About It

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s has put the proposed referendum on constitutional recognition of Indigenous people front and centre over the weekend, during his…

Continue Reading Katter Says He Is Willing To Back An Indigenous Voice To Parliament But It Would Make More Sense To Have A Black Upper House And A Black Lower House That Operates Within The Current Federal System, We Should Let The Murris And The Torres Strait Islanders Effectively Run A Black Senate Just To Double Check Everything The Southern Mob Puts Forward, Because If I’m Honest, And My Opinions Might Be Heavily Influenced By Rugby League, But Nevertheless, There’s Something To Be Said About The Solutions-Based Approach We See In Queensland Politics, Black And White, And Yes, I’m Well Aware That Our First Nations Brother-Cousins Don’t Necessarily Acknowledge State Borders, And Neither Do I, Really, As Far As I’m Concerned Anywhere South Of Bundaberg Is A Suburb Of Sydney, And The Only Border I’m Ready To Acknowledge Is The Brisbane Line, Which Was By Far The Most Cowardly Defence Proposal In The History Of Modern Military Strategy, Formulated By Those Bastards In Canberra During World War II To Concede The Northern Portion Of The Australian Continent To The Japanese So They Could Prioritise The Blue-Blooded Farming Plains Of New South Wales And Those Victorian One-Horse Brothel Towns That Ran Out Of Gold When Ned Kelly Was In Nappies, I’m Not Here Trying To Complicate Things, But It’s Worth Remembering That They Blew Up Our Inland Bridges And Major Ports And Left Us For Dead In The Face Of An Aggressive Foreign Army Chockablock With Soldiers Willing To Literally Fly Their Fighter Planes Into Defence Targets For Love Of Empire, It Makes Me Sick To Think About That Disgraceful Chapter In Our Country’s History, And This Complacency, Which Borders On Treason, Has Not Been Forgotten, Queenslanders, Black And White, Harbour A Deep Distrust For The Southern Elite To This Very Day, Mind You, The Ngarrindjeri Mob Down There On The Lower Murray River, I Don’t Mind The Cut Of Their Jib, I Spose Maybe We Can Have Them Operating Some Sort Of A Black Cross Bench, Like The Black Teals, Or The Black Katters, That’s Not A Bad Idea At All, I Mean, Really, What I’m Putting Forward Here, It’s Quite Simple When You Think About It