Tag: Australias
Australia’s Labour Shortage Suddenly Resolved As Busted Crypto Bros Return To The Workforce — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The post-pandemic neoliberal mantra of ‘nobody wants to work anymore’ has finally been put to bed this week, as the Australian workforce experiences…
Coincidence? Australia’s Highest Income Postcode Also Happens To Have Highest Dickhead Ratio — The Betoota Advocate
RORY SALAZAR | Finance | CONTACT Australia’s highest income postcode has finally been revealed in new data released by the ATO. However, that is not the whole story. Further…
Scott Morrison’s Secret Job Spree Sees Australia’s Unemployment Level Plummet To Record Low — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Further details on the former Prime Minister’s desecration of the nation’s democracy have been confirmed today. It has been revealed that Scott Morrison’s…
Australia’s Oldest Man Also Doesn’t Listen To Triple J Anymore — The Betoota Advocate
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Celebrating with a letter from the Queen and a kilo of prawns, Australia’s oldest man Wilberforth Stoker (110) has confirmed that he doesn’t…
Australia’s Most Important Middle-Class Man Books Priority Boarding For Domestic Jetstar Flight — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT An incredibly important and time-poor man has today wowed the crowed at Betoota’s Remienko Domestic Aiport. The man who must a be a…
Experts Naming Melbourne As Australia’s Most Liveable City Mustn’t Have Read The News For A Couple Years — The Betoota Advocate
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The experts behind those yearly liveability lists have today confirmed to the world that they haven’t really been keeping up to date with…
Bob Katter Tells Albanese To Just Say The Word And We Can Begin Nationalising The Energy Grids, It Can Be Swift, And It Can Be Bloodless, Unless They Want Otherwise. My Son Robbie And I Can Take Care Of Any Power Stations North Of The Brisbane Line, And Don’t You Dare Think For One Minute That The Proud People Of North Queensland Adhered To The 1996 Firearms Agreement, Because We Didn’t. We’ve Got Caches Of High-Powered Weapons Buried In Container Units Right Across The Gulf, And When We Liberate The Grid, You Can Tell Those Greedy Bastards At Telstra And The Commonwealth Bank That We’re Coming For Them Next. Australians Built These Institutions, And We Can Take Them Back, By Force If Need Be, And Let Me Just Say I Hope That It Is Needed, Because Where I’m From Snakes Get The Shovel, And If This Current Crisis Tells Us Anything, It’s That There’s A Den Of Poisonous Snakes Slithering Through Boardrooms From Brisbane To Hobart. Privatisation Serves No One But The Top End Of Town, And That’s What I’ve Been Warning These Useless Fools In Canberra For Half A Century Now. They’ve Buggered It All Up, And They Know It. Our Nation’s Greatest Assets Have Been Sold At Less Than Cost Price To The Sandstone Friends Of The Ruling Class, They’d Sell Them The ABC And Australia Post If We We Weren’t Looking. But That Ends Whenever You Say It Ends, Albanese, My Dear Friend. Let ‘Em Know We Are Ready, We’ll Take Back The TAB Too While We’re At It. Because Australians Deserve The Dignity Of Knowing That Every Time They Do Their Arse On The Punt, At Least Their Losses Are Being Spent Of Fixing Roads And Hospitals, Not Some Soul Sucking Corporate Villain’s Yacht. These Blue Blooded Cowards Thought I Was Joking When I Said Australia’s Not For Sale. Well It Isn’t, And They Can Find Out The Hard Way, If That’s What They Want.
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In the boldest act of the new Labor Government, The Australian Energy Market Operator (AEMO) has been given full support to take the…
Local Dad Says The Only Way To Fix Australia’s Gas Shortage Is To Pull His Finger Ha Ha — The Betoota Advocate
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Betoota Heights dad, Kevvy Blackrock (56, signwriter), has today solved one of the most pertinent hurdles facing Australian living standards. After a fortnight…