WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
A French Quarter mouth has today let off a distress signal.
The SOS was sounded by the oval shaped eating, drinking and breathing cavity in the skull of James Roberts.
The mouth reportedly let out a cry for help, after a punishing morning in South Betoota Polytechnic’s library.
Speaking to The Advocate a short time ago, the local mouth explained that it couldn’t take it anymore.
“I need some chewy or something.”
“It was a pretty full on morning,” laughed the mouth of the 3rd year law student.
“I know the Commercial Litigation module is stressful, but geez, he’s really gone hell for leather this morning.”
Revealing the details of the last few hours, the mouth reckons it had to deal with a milkless coffee, an energy drink, a packet of chips, two bananas, an apple and a piece of chocolate.
“And that was in the space of about 4 hours,” the mouth laughed.
“God knows what cheap feed he’s going to expect me to deal with in a bit, so I need to chew some gum to deal with the constant barrage.”
“I’m talking the Extra Gum Intense Mint stuff.”
“Like give me the good stuff.”
“He reckons he has a chance with one of his fellow students tonight as well, so he really should be popping a few bits of chewy in right now for a fresh confidence boost.”
It’s believed the pleas were heard, with Roberts agreeing to pop into his local supermarket to pick up some engine oil for his mouth.
More to come