Stepdad Sucks The Prawn Head — The Betoota Advocate

Stepdad Sucks The Prawn Head — The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

As the nation continues to embrace the culinary Christmas traditions that give us our own little glimpse into culture, Aussies are once again enjoying the delicious taste of prawns. 

A food you have to work for to truly enjoy, shelling fresh prawns over a bucket of discarded exoskeleton before consuming the fishy morsel, dipping your fingers into some lemon water and getting stuck in all over again is a treasured Christmas pastime for many.

For some howeverm like the stepchildren of Garry ‘Pinky’ Pinkerton (58), prawn feasts are an exercise in trauma as the old fella gives his step kids a whole new reason to need therapy as he sucks the inside of the prawn head dry.

Sometimes used for decorations, it is widely acknowledged that prawn heads have no distinguished culinary use except to men like Pinky, who see the oozing grit of the prawn’s spent lifeblood as some sort of caviar that anyone who’s generation ends with a letter is too dumb to savour. 

“You done with that?” asked Pinky, as he reached beneath a crumpled napkin to pick up a prawn head that his step daughter had rightly chosen to discard.

“You missed the best bit.”

Pinky’s step children and 2nd wife were then forced to endure the demented sucking sound of the almost father figure holding the open end of the prawn head to his mouth and sucking on it until he slurped himself red.

“What? It’s good! Let me guess, you fuss around trying to remove the poo shoot as well? Soft cocks.”

Author: Stephen Bailey