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Ask a celebrity chef and they’ll tell you there are no ‘food trends’ only culinary traditions that occasionally go in and out of style.
However, if you ask a food writer who is paid by the article, they’ll tell you there are definitely food trends and for $200 they will try to predict a couple with all the accuracy of a drunk playing darts.
Without further ado, here are some food trends that are on their way in 2023!
1. Spicy Coffee – You heard of the spicy cough, now get ready for spicy coffee! Your morning boost with a pang of pain – all for just $7!
2. Rented Food – Apart from people over 45, no one owns anything anymore. Get a reference from your employer and rent yourself some lunch!
3. New El Paso – When it comes to Tex Mex, it’s out with the old and in with the new!
4. Frozen Wine – Bernard Black may have predicted this so get ready to nibble on your tipple.
5. Hash Whites – A raw alternative to the shredded potato breakfast staple. Yum yum!
6. Travel Communion – For the Catholic on the go. Amen!
7. Indoor Picnics – Safer and not weather dependent!
8. Bespoke Fairy Bread – Nostalgia on sourdough for only $12.
9. Vape Dinner – Grocery prices will see e-cigarettes become the go-to dinner choice for young people.
10. Insects – We will keep putting this on lists until you animals eat some fucking bugs already.
11. Spaghetti Bolagnese – Did you know spag bowl is originally from the Spaghetti region of Italy? Get ready for the real deal in 2023.
12. Man Spreads – You heard it here first; jam for men is on the way!
13. Extra Fluoride Water – Don’t tell your mates from Byron!
14. Pasta Al Dente – aka raw pasta. Extra Al Dente.
15. Sunscreen Sandwiches – Yep, this ‘90s throwback is on its way back!
16. Echidna Meat – You’ve always wondered and in 2023 you’ll find out!
17. Greek Fried Rice – Did you know the Greeks invented fried rice? Well that’s what my neighbour Mr Baros says and his fried rice is unbeatable!
18. Sand Sugar – Seriously morish – one sprinkle and you’ll be hooked!
19. Alcoholic Non-Alcoholic Beer – For those who want the taste of beer with the hangover.
20. Upmarket Footy Food – Prepare to have your mind (and savings) blown!
21. Chocolate Vulvas – Come on girls, why should male genitalia be the go to for cheeky confectionery?
22. Seedless Strawberries – Not gonna lie, this one frightens us. If we could stop it we would. It’s too late though. We have spoken its name.
23. The Balancer Diet – A new diet craze where you try to lose weight by burning more calories than you consume via a healthy diet of fruits and vegetables.
That’s our list of food trends for 2023! Don’t agree? Tell it to my cat, he doesn’t listen to me either! Maybe you two will get along!