“Some Bikies Can Be Really Hot” — The Betoota Advocate

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In news that will only increase her vote with rednecks and union heavies, Greens senator Lidia Thorpe has resigned as the party’s deputy leader after revelations that she “briefly dated” the ex-president of a Victorian outlaw motorcycle gang while sitting on a parliamentary law enforcement committee.

Senator Thorpe acknowledged she did not disclose the relationship to her leader Adam Bandt, which is not a sackable offence but is definitely a ‘you probably can’t be the deputy leader of a major party anymore’ offence.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese said the revelations concerned him and called for an explanation, but clearly didn’t want to say too much, given the fact that half of the Victorian Trade Union Movement are also members of similar motorcycle clubs.

After making a name for herself as an outspoken advocate for Aboriginal people and refugees, today’s news surrounding Senator Thorpe’s personal life has tickled the culture wars loudmouths at Sky News and on talkback radio – as they rush to declare ‘I told you so’ about a staunch Indigenous woman whose popularity makes them feel powerless and irrelevant.

However, despite the fact that Senator Thorpe’s alleged lover probably isn’t half as crook as the bloke that brought down NSW Premier Berejeklian – her own party have realised they can’t exactly ignore this.

Within hours of the revelations, Mr Bandt called a press conference where he repeated that he was unaware of the matter until contacted by the ABC.

He said Senator Thorpe should have disclosed the relationship, and the failure to do so showed a “significant lack of judgement”.

“Senator Thorpe had an important role not only as our justice spokesperson but on the law enforcement committee,” Mr Bandt said.

“Her friendship could be perceived as an issue given her work as a senator, especially on those committees.”

“But still, I think I speak for a lot of people out there when I say, some bikies can be really hot”

“So… Like, let’s not cast the first stone here.”

“Have you guys seen Sons Of Anarchy… Faarrkk. Charlie Hunnan would get it”

Mr Bandt asked for Senator Thorpe’s resignation from the leadership team, and said it had been received.

“She understands it’s not a good look” he said.

“But.. Yeah… Damn girl haha”

Author: Stephen Bailey