Skater Praised For Doing Some Constructive Property Damage For Once After Burning Lime Scooters — The Betoota Advocate

Skater Praised For Doing Some Constructive Property Damage For Once After Burning Lime Scooters — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A young man from our town’s central districts has been praised by councillors and residents alike after setting fire to a pile of e-scooters in the Old City District last night.

Police and emergency crews were called to Remienko Square last night at 10pm after reports of a large fire raging out of control near the public toilets.

Local man Francis Coleman (19) admitted freely to police that he collected approximately 40 e-scooters from around central Betoota and threw them in a pile.

He then proceeded to set the scooters on fire with a mixture of styrofoam dissolved into diesel, creating a napalm-like substance that stuck to the scooters and make sure they burned.

Mr Coleman informed the firefighters of the fire’s nature and suggested they use foam.

However, both police and fire crews were content to let the pile of flaming Lime scooters burn out by itself.

Old City Fire Superintendent Martin Pooley spoke to the media this morning and explained that this is the type of civil service that he likes to see in the community.

“Francis Coleman and I go back a long way,” said Mr Pooley.

“He’s into his graffiti and no amount of court-mandated public service seems to deter him. Neither would a short stretch in prison, I fear. However, it was nice to see Francis partaking in some constructive property damage for once. These like scooters are like fleas on the back of this city. I know young people like throwing them into the nearest body of water, which they shouldn’t because it’s absolutely dreadful for the environment,”

“Burning them isn’t much better. Especially if you inhale the smoke. I’d hate to see what lithium battery smoke would do to a man’s lungs. Or a woman’s for that matter. It wouldn’t be good. Anyway, I think I speak for the rest of us when I say it’s good to have 40 less of these fucking things on the street.”

The Advocate reached out to Mayor Keith Carton, who is allegedly in the pocket of big e-scooter, for comment but have yet to receive a reply.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey