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There were muffled sneers coming from the kitchen table at the Ronin household in Betoota’s Flight Path District this morning, after family’s youngest daughter Katie debuted her new boyfriend of 8 months.
As one of the four adult Ronin kids living at home due to the housing crisis, Katie (19) has decided it’s time to bite the bullet and stop playing away games.
Both her parents, fully aware of the gruelling costs of living, have reluctantly accepted that if they want their kids to ever move out of home, then they need to accomodate their wishes to maintain a relatively normal dating life.
However, this is not necessarily an issue for their oldest two sons, Blane and Bodeane (27, 28) who make up the growing number of heterosexual men who are more preoccupied with gaming and sportsbetting than with finding a wife.
In fact, aside from blowing all of their disposable income at strip clubs, Blane and Bodeane have very little interaction with the opposite sex.
It’s for this reason, that both men treat their sister’s boyfriend like some sort of household object, that is to be ignored entirely, unless he is taking too long on the toilet.
That was, until today, when Katie’s new bloke decided he was comfortable enough with his surroundings to roam around the kitchen shirtless.
After having earlier made a laughable comment about ‘being good at golf’ – Richie (20) was already in the crosshairs of his misso’s brothers.
However, his decision to expose their mother to a bare chest was a bridge too far, with both brothers deciding unanimously to put a dent in the self-confidence that would result in him making such a catastrophic social gaffe.
The entire kitchen stood in silence as both the hulking meatheads stared directly at Richie, as they make it known that this family doesn’t take too kindly to shirtless hunks in ‘their’ kitchen.
“Are you fucking right?” asks Bodeane.
Richie, an obvious only-child, takes a minute to clock what the issue is.
“Put a fucking shirt on you gross cunt” says Blane.
“No one wants to see that shit”
Both brothers immediately realise they may have overstepped the aggression, and attempt to backpedal.
“Go put a collared shirt on” says Bodeane.
“Did ya bring ya fucking clubs?”