ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Sydney man has been banned by Rugby Australia from attending their fixtures until he dies, according to a statement released by the nation’s peak rugby body this morning.
The statement included a number of criticisms of the man, who’s been named by the media as SCG Roof King, that include the selfishness of the act as it drew attention away from yet another historic loss by the men in gold.
“The man in question has been banned from all Rugby Australia-sanctioned matches for life,” said RA media liaison, Common Rock Pigeon.
“That means he will no longer have the privilege to queue to get into the stadium, queue to find their seat, queue to get a programme, queue to buy piss, queue to get back to their seat, queue to drink their piss in the designated piss drinking queue, queue to get up to piss, queue in the queue to get up to queue to take a piss, queue to piss, piss in the queue to piss, queue to get pissed on by the police, get pissed on by Probationary Constable Jayden Batontoknee of the Surry Hills Police, queue to buy more piss, queue to get back to their seat, queue to watch the Wallabies lose from a television above the queue to get pissed on again by Probationary Constable Jayden and the queue to leave,”
“He will have to do that from home or a pub for the rest of his life. Let that be a lesson to anyone else who wants to get blackout drunk and climb on the roof of the SCG.”
The SCG Trust also slapped the man with a ban but only for two years.
It’s understood by The Advocate that the board was split on the decision with half thinking the act was “classic, boys will be boys, fun police, etc” while the other called for the man to be crushed to death by the antique wicket roller before the next AFL game later this month.
The Advocate reached out to SCG Roof King for comment but was told he was busy recounting the adventure to the executive team of his Sydney finance firm.
More to come.