Rubber Arm Accountant Says “Fuck It” And Lets Chippy Claim $500 Massage Gun As Work Expense — The Betoota Advocate

Rubber Arm Accountant Says “Fuck It” And Lets Chippy Claim $500 Massage Gun As Work Expense — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A professionally dubious Accountant is being praised today, after turning a blind eye to some low level tax fraud.

Working late to churn through the flooding pile of small business tax returns that continue to land across his desk, it’s understood local Betoota accountant Graeme Price-Coopers has decided to sign off on a 50/50 work purchase, purely because it’s too late in the evening to even bother calling his client.

Taking a detailed look at three pages of itemised purchases submitted by a local carpenter, Dennis Cartwright, Graeme is believed to have been quite impressed with the unique and wishful thinking put into this year’s return.

“I’ve been doing Dennis’ returns for years, and I’ll be honest he gets more creative every year,” sighed Graeme.

“Last year it was his home theatre system which he bought mid-pandemic, and this year he’s having a crack at a $500 Theragun, like the same one that Cristiano Ronaldo uses!”

Marveling at the bravery of one of his favourite clients, after one quick look at his office clock about to strike midnight, it’s understood Graeme simply signed off on the purchase in an effort to get home.

“Look he is a chippy, he’s on his feet all day and I know his back is about as crooked as a question mark.”

“At least it’s not some cheap eBay knock-off one and he’s submitted it as a proper receipt from Harvey Norman.”

“If anyone owes the ATO some tax this year it’s those leather lounge-selling bastards, so I’ll let this massage gun slide just this one time!”.

Packing up his desk with bleary eyes, Greame admitted to The Advocate that he might even look at making the same tax write-off next year, due to his extensive hours sitting behind a desk.

“My neck is killing me and my lower back is tighter than a occy strap on a camping trailer, hell I might order one too when I get home!”

“It’s a work expense right?”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey