Road Worker Chewing Through 3am Servo Sandwich Unsure If Mayo Is Tangy Or Brimming With Salmonella — The Betoota Advocate

Road Worker Chewing Through 3am Servo Sandwich Unsure If Mayo Is Tangy Or Brimming With Salmonella — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

A starving road worker has decided to play some ‘Caltex Roulette’ this morning, rolling the dinner dice on a chicken and mayo sandwich from his local service station.

Cursing himself for once again forgetting his pre-prepared lunch, 32-year-old Maintenance Operator Brad Vaughan is understood to be peeling the soggy bread from a plastic container, and weighing up the possibility that his dinner might come with a free side of food poisoning.

After giving the sandwich a quick sniff test, and jamming his asphalt stained fingers between the bread to remove the translucent sheet of lettuce, Brad has decided to throw caution to the wind and tuck into his dinner.

Speaking to our reporter in between slow chews, the exhausted shift worker has lamented that his poor sleep cycle and nights spent standing next to the pounding clangs of a steamroller, have caused him to lose his ability to function like an adult.

“I’ve been trying so hard lately to pack some leftovers for crib, but this week my schedule has truly fallen apart and I’ve spent three nights in a row surviving on servo dinners.”

“It’s bloody grim.”

When asked what inspired the choice of a 10-hour-old fridge sandwich, Brad was quick to explain that he simply couldn’t do another night eating a 3am sausage roll and choccy milk.

“I did a King Size Mrs Macs and a Chocolate Oak last night, and it bloody ruined me, you try staying alert past 7am when you’re cannonballing down a sugar high like that!”

Asked if he held grave fears for the bio-chemical stability of the chicken he was ingesting, Brad admitted that the sandwich did have an unidentifiable ‘tang’ to it.

“Tonight’s my last shift before a 3-day break, it’d be just my luck to spend my weekend chucking my guts up cos this sambo has turned nuclear…”

“I better wash it down with a Coke just to be safe, that full-sugar stuff should kill all the germs!”

Author: Stephen Bailey