Recently Dumped Bloke Finally Appreciates Cricket This Summer — The Betoota Advocate

Recently Dumped Bloke Finally Appreciates Cricket This Summer — The Betoota Advocate

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A silver lining has shone brightly today as newly single Darren Wood (29) is finally really giving cricket a go this summer.

Previously, Wood was the type to make ‘sports-ball’ style japes and remarks about how cricket is silly because both teams wear white, as if to distract from the fact he can’t catch a ball.

However, the 2012 style humour has walked out the door, along with his missus, and Wood is now finally enjoying a summer of cricket with a real appreciation!

“Yeah he’s loving it,” stated Wood’s mate Robbie, who was the one to make sport talk when Wood initially shared how heartbroken he had been.

“And he’s not just loving it because it’s an excuse to be in the pub all day, he’s looking up stats and averages. He’s not even betting, he just wants to know.” 

“He even read this really long piece from a few years ago about the shotty science behind the KFC Hotspot and ended up writing his own essay about how it’s a detriment to the casual viewer and modern game.”

“He hasn’t written anything like that since he was in uni, which is about the time he first met Casey…”

“Probs best I don’t mention that bit.”

When our reporting team sat down with Wood, he immediately tried to suss out how into cricket we were and began making jabs when reporter Louis Burke explained how he is more into footy.

“You’re missing out mate! Isn’t each game only 80 minutes? What do you even do with your wandering mind the rest of the time in the week?”

“Your bloody wandering, nagging, desperate mind.”

“There’s a new team next year? Really? Actually, when does that season start? I might need something to tide me over til The Ashes. That’s an England/Australia game or ‘test’.”

When asking Wood about the recent end to his five year relationship he continued to talk about cricket as if we had asked about Cummins’ right arm and not about his significant life change, which is either a very good or very bad sign.

MORE TO COME.

Author: Stephen Bailey