Qantas Officially Now As Reliable As Brisbane’s Trains — The Betoota Advocate

Qantas Officially Now As Reliable As Brisbane's Trains — The Betoota Advocate


The nation’s former flagship airline is today grappling with a damning new revelation.

After another week of canceled flights, mammoth delays, and missing bags, it’s been confirmed that Qantas is now as reliable as Brisbane’s public transport network.

Famous for having a rail network that can’t run a day without cancellation or major delays and buses that seemingly vanish into thin air, Brisbane’s public transport is well known for being as reliable as an old two-stroke.

Now, it’s believed they have finally been rivaled by our major airline, who despite taking hundreds of millions of dollars from the government to stay afloat, fired or laid off a fuckload of staff and now can’t service the nation’s need.

Despite taking huge chunks of money, and arguing against their competitors getting any government support, it seems like Qantas and its subsidiary Jetstar aren’t able to actually look after the lion’s share of the market they so desperately wanted.

With people turning up at the airport under the premise they might be able to get a flight to where they want to go, and fully accepting the fact they may never see their luggage again, Qantas has now reached the pinnacle of trustworthiness.

“It’s like standing at a bus stop in Greenslopes,” said one Qantas passenger today.

“You might get a ride, or you might just be majorly inconvenienced and have your plans for the day thrown into chaos.”

“Glad to see our once publicly owned national airline is still providing a great service it was once known for,” he sighed.

“It’s okay though, CEO Alan Joyce isn’t taking home 24 million bucks this year, so they are trying to improve.”

“Hopefully they don’t borrow the Brisbane model of just not running any services on Public Holidays and long weekends.”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey