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Millions of more people are now 100% on board with tackling climate change, after being encouraged to join the environmentalist movement after finding themselves caught up in a clever and inclusive protest against the fossil fuel sector this morning.
Half of Sydney was late for work this morning, with some not even making it to work, after dozens of climate change activists marched down CBD streets and blocked a major tunnel in the city’s north.
The movement, which appears to be focused on preventing working class Australians from getting to their jobs on time, in the middle of a cost-of-living crisis, after one of the most financially stressful couple years in living memory, has worked a treat!
These previously indifferent blue collar workers, who spend most of their time worrying about how they are going to put food on the table and pay the rent, are now die-hard supporters of climate action.
The bold and genius decision to fuck up the morning commute for millions saw traffic quickly bank through North Sydney, after a car was used to block the entrance of the Sydney Harbour Tunnel at peak hour.
Local warehouse manager, Kenny Sartor (45) says all he was trying to do was travel from Hornsby to Lidcombe to pack shelves for a medium-sized cosmetics manufacturer, when he was met with the impressive protests.
“It’s amazing what 3 hours stuck in your car on the Pacific Highway can do for your political ideologies” says Kenny.
“I’m feeling completely enlightened after missing my shift today. I know it costs me nearly a quarter of my wages to pay for fuel, and a head lettuce now costs the same as a block of Mersey Valley cheese…. But I really am grateful to learn about this climate change stuff”
“They’ve won me over, that’s for sure. I’ve been Googling how to join these protestors all morning”
Another commuter, Kelly Kasabian (31) says her clients at the hair salon have been more than understanding that she’s had to cancel 5 bookings this morning.
“They get it” she says.
“This climate change thing is a real crisis that can only be solved by uni students inconveniencing working class people and then hoping to get a video of a police officer yelling at them”
The Betoota Advocate reached out to the organisers behind this morning’s protests, who made the surprising admission that were actually unhappy that today’s disruptions had resulted in working class people joining their movement – and were actually hoping to antagonise them.