“Please Stop Scrutinising Me!” Says Giant Baby Who Can’t Even Be Trusted To Run A Meat Raffle — The Betoota Advocate

"Please Stop Scrutinising Me!" Says Giant Baby Who Can't Even Be Trusted To Run A Meat Raffle — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A giant baby that once worked as Deputy Premier of New South Wales has burst into tears this morning in Sydney, telling reporters that they need to stop scrutinising everything he does because he’s a private citizen that’s never been charged with any offence.

The comment just come hours after 612-month-old toddler John Barilaro lost his fragile little baby temper in Manly where he seemingly push a cameraman away.

“Leave me alone!” he told the very same people he was trying to get away from the night before.

“You are all making me feel bad! Naughty media! I am a private citizen! I deserve privacy and I deserve to go about my private business without scrutiny. How dare you!”

However, a recent survey conducted by The Advocate has found that no private citizens in the wider Diamantina area have recently been caught manufacturing themselves a public servant job worth half a million dollars a year. In addition to that, none of them has tried to move a senior public servant job from California to New York. Or been offered one in London but decided it was a bit too much of a shithole for them to go to.

It was put to Mr Barilaro by a reporter that perhaps he deserved just a little bit of scrutiny over the whole trade job thing and how it’s public money and everything – which Mr John categorically rejected.

“You lot think I can’t be trusted to run a meat raffle!” he screamed.

That remark was met with pensive nods and shrugs.

“See!”

The Advocate reached out to the Department of Premier and Cabinet for comment but were told they were still waiting for this to go away.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey