Perrottet Grows Increasingly Worried That This Could Happen To His Pool If This Barilaro Shit Continues — The Betoota Advocate

Perrottet Grows Increasingly Worried That This Could Happen To His Pool If This Barilaro Shit Continues — The Betoota Advocate

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The defacto leader of the nation’s portaloo is growing increasingly worried that his private pool could get pissed in by an angry mob if this controversy around John Barilaro doesn’t go away soon.

Looking at the images coming out of Sri Lanka, New South Wales Premier Dom Perrottet told this masthead that he’s all but convinced himself that bad things are coming because the people of his state are fed up with the cronyism in his government.

He spoke briefly to The Advocate via wireless telephone this afternoon.

“Oh man,” said Dom.

“I know Australians are a docile people but this whole thing with John [Barilaro] has got them fired up. What happens if they come over to my house? I’ll have to obviously take off and go into hiding. But fuck, did you see what they were doing to the Sri Lankan President’s pool? They were full on pissing in it. On the news, I saw piss coming out of a man’s cock and into the pool. It was shocking. I wasn’t even watching the SBS where they have that type of blue film shit on all the time. It was Channel fucking Seven,”

“I have a nice pool, man. I don’t want some blue-haired fat man from Newtown get the train up here so he can piss in my pool and shit in one of the pockets of my pool table. I’ve never seen people so fired up. They’re not going to be satisfied until somebody goes to jail and it’s sure as shit not going to be me.”

When asked what he feared most about a mob of fired up lefties coming over to his place, Dom said not much.

“I saw on the news, these Sri Lankan dudes chilling in the President’s living room with their shoes on. I’m a bid shoes off in the house guy and that just about did me in. If some Arts student wore his Doc Martins in my house, it’d just about do me in,” he continued.

“Fuck’s sake, man. We have to end this.”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey