Overwhelmed Local Woman Could Use Another One Of Those Snap Lockdowns — The Betoota Advocate

Overwhelmed Local Woman Could Use Another One Of Those Snap Lockdowns — The Betoota Advocate


Keeley James (29) never thought she’d see the day where she missed being incarcerated in her home under public health orders

Almost a year since the last Queenslander snap lockdown, the Betoota Heights-based retail worker is now back in the swing of things.

This means she’s being abused by customers, has a calendar jam packed with weddings, and lives her life rotating between being highly caffeinated or slightly pissed.

On top of that, her line of work has been absolutely pumped by the post pandemic logistical failings, with new shipments of products running months late – if ever arriving at all.

As the weeks grow shorter, and the weddings begin merging with baby showers and 30th birthdays – Keeley is now looking back at the pandemic with rose-coloured glasses.

“What I would give to clear my schedule for a fortnight, or even a month” she says.

“A snap lockdown is just what I need. I don’t even have to make excuses”

“It’s like, ‘sorry the government said I’m not allowed to come to Jeremiah’s first birthday party. Oh my God I’m so angry that I can’t spend my Saturday afternoon in a germ-coated trampoline centre surrounded by hundreds of screaming kids’ – I’m feeling like I took the last couple years for granted”

“Oh no the Premier said I have to skip your Hens Party…. Unfortunately I’m not going to be able to drink $20 cocktails in a rooftop bar while it pisses down with rain”

“Man, those were the days”

When asked if she also longed for the intense social distancing measures that came with the pandemic, Keeley says that might be what she misses the most.

“Retail hasn’t been the same since they the ended the mask mandates” she said.

“I would actually love to be able to tell these Karens to cover their mouths with an industrial standard N95 face mask”

Author: Stephen Bailey