Over The Top Parents Urged To Calm The Fuck Down About Book Week — The Betoota Advocate

Over The Top Parents Urged To Calm The Fuck Down About Book Week — The Betoota Advocate


Emergency services are on stand-by outside The Betoota Base Public School this morning, as the grand finale of the 2022 Book Week gets underway.

Fire Department Officials have been urged to crank on the hose and aim toward any melees that may arise between over-the-top parents.

This year’s theme is “Dreaming with eyes wide open” – and kids right around the country are dressing up as their favourite literary figures. Or their parents’ favourite literary figures. Or basically anyone famous, in what has increasingly turned into a hard-fought parental pageant where only the edgiest and imaginative costumes win.

Local stay-at-homer, Angela Lawson (40) has been identified as the index shit-stirrer – responsible for dramatically changing the culture of Book Week from a cute government initiative, to a gladiatorial spectacle between only the most alpha parents.

The long-standing tuckshop nemesis of Angela, local dad Andreas, says Angela has been playing dirty, and quite frankly shes taking the fun out of it for everyone.

“Why is her son dressed as Bane?” said Andreas.

“That’s not appropriate. There’s no way her son should be allowed to watch the Dark Knight”

Angela was approached for comment but laughed hysterically before dismissing Andreas’ comments as typical of someone whose kid dressed as Harry Potter for three years in a row.

School Principal Kathy Carton says she really didn’t think she’d have to send out a letter specifying that Book Week was an alcohol-free event – but turns out she did.

“I’ve got the police on stand-by and I’ve had to call on the RSL to send up a few RSA Marshalls,” said Carton.

“There are people popping champagne. It’s a horrible atmosphere here today”

“They all need to calm the fuck down.”

Author: Stephen Bailey