LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
A recent report by the World Font Foundation (WFF) has determined that the Old English font is now purely reserved for high school Shakespeare essays and postcode tattoos.
The font, which is assumed to be centuries old, enjoyed a renaissance in the early noughties with sports teams and D12 all wanting a piece of that ancient, pointy font.
Since desktop computers hit the home, the font became the quickest way to add a bit of gothic charm to a year nine or 10 essay about the work of playwright William Shakespeare.
Although no teacher has ever marked an assignment higher because of the font, it is a clear indicator that the student gave a shit and might one day make a good employer for the dropkicks that used Chiller or Jokerman.
Due to the timeless style of the font, it has endured on the pages of assignments that have not and will never do anything to prepare children for real life.
The timeless nature has however made it ideal for more permanent applications which is why it is still the number one font of choice for postcode tattoos.
Usually applied to the hand, forearm, or 50/50 above either knee, postcode tattoos are a way of paying tribute to your woeful suburb while letting people know you’ll throw hands if they use the term ‘woeful suburb’ in front of them.
Postcode tattoos come in a variety of fonts but Old English always seems to add an enduring quality as if to say ‘Revesby has always been there and so will I.’
The report also states rare uses of Old English font in rural supermarkets trying to have a bit of fun but claims the future of the font is and always will be about essays and eshays.