NSW Solves Strike Crisis By Listing Transport, Health And Education Portfolios On Gumtree — The Betoota Advocate

NSW Solves Strike Crisis By Listing Transport, Health And Education Portfolios On Gumtree — The Betoota Advocate

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Leaders of the state of Newcastle, Sydney, and Wollongong (NSW) have today revealed an exciting plan to solve the problems they’ve been having with the public service.

Premier Dominic Perrottet has informed The Advocate this morning that his government plans to simply turn it into the ‘private service.’

“Simple,” said Perrottet.

“We are going to privatise the lot,” explained the new Premier who was just glad he wasn’t being asked about the appointment of John Barliaro to a plum New York trade commission role.

“Health, Transport, Education, whatever else it is we do”

“It’s all going on Gumtree and whoever makes the highest bid will take whatever they want.”

The radical new plan comes after weeks and months of strikes as public sector employees call for greater pay and conditions, claiming that being branded essential workers doesn’t pay the mortgage or rent.

However, rather than negotiate with the various essential workers who have helped get the state through the pandemic, Perrottet says he’s had enough.

“It certainly would be more efficient for me if we just sold the lot,” he laughed.

“We’ve been consistently underfunding the transport network to the point where we can nearly convince the public it would be better off run by a company that’s only goal is making a profit.”

“And we can follow the lead of America by simply doing away with public health.”

“It’s worked pretty well for them.”

“Education, well, we’ve been doing a similar thing to transport with that too.”

“We’ve underfunded the public sector and pumped money into private schools that don’t need so plenty of parents feel like giving their kids a public education isn’t an option.”

“So, this really is the logical next step.”

“That’s our solution to the striking and dissatisfaction of the public service.”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey