“Not A Big Deal Or Anything, But A Few Springies Wouldn’t Have Gone Astray” — The Betoota Advocate

"Not A Big Deal Or Anything, But A Few Springies Wouldn't Have Gone Astray" — The Betoota Advocate

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has today given an update from the other side of the world.

Speaking after the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II at Westminster Abbey, Albanese confirmed the service did tend to drag on a bit.

“Mate, I was fucking starving by the end of it,” said the Prime Minister who was joined by his partner Jodie Haydon, who wore a black dress and some hat thing.

“I was hungrier than a concreter who’d missed smoko.”

“Then it took ages to get out of the Abbey, and it wasn’t really even a proper wake.”

Albanese understandably wasn’t invited to the private burial after the marathon church service that had more televised angles than an NRL grand final

“Look, I know it’s a historic moment in history, but Jesus, a few springies and some dim sims wouldn’t have gone astray,” he laughed.

“I would have even copped some egg and lettuce sandwiches, and that’s saying something.”

“Other than that it wasn’t too bad, a fair bit of boring chit chat with those other world leaders.”

“At least there wasn’t too much whinging from the little nations about how we aren’t doing anything about the big thing that is threatening their very existence.”

“But, I wasn’t a fan of the canapes they had at the service. Like it was all this fancy shit, but it didn’t really hit the spot.”

“Anyway, time to head back home. I’ve had enough.

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey