Non-Alcoholic Beer Getting A Bit Preachy — The Betoota Advocate

Non-Alcoholic Beer Getting A Bit Preachy — The Betoota Advocate


In a movement that has every Australian grandpa rolling in their graves, non-alcoholic beers have had a bit of a moment in 2022.

With mid-strength always having a place on country tables, ultra-low and no alcohol beers have begun popping up like mushrooms growing in a puddle of late-night kebab chunder.

According to non-alcoholic beer brewers, their ‘beers’ are a guilt-free alternative to traditional beers that provide 100% refreshment with 0% regret and all of the smugness.

“Our beers are for individual free thinkers who want something different,” said brewer Hayden Ball who would have had to become a priest just 20 years ago.

“These are beers for people who know what a gift an early start on a Sunday morning is; a pure treasure.”

“To some it may taste watery, over sweetened and dull. That’s because only really special people can appreciate it for what it is; the beer of the future.”

Local company God’s Water Brewing Co, states on their website that you can drink 20 of their beers and not even get tipsy as if that is both a selling point and something anyone would actually want to do. 

While many can agree that alcohol free beers are harmless, at least by definition, more can agree that the preachy way they go on about slagging off real beer is a bit much.

“Yeah, they’re pretty good for when you’re deso or need to practise your sculling,” said beer influencer Tracy Slater.

“They might want to cool it with those ‘full flavour’ claims before the ACCC gets involved.”

“And seriously, do they have to be so smug about it? It’s just all getting a bit much.”

Author: Stephen Bailey