No One Owns More Beanies Than Drummer Who Works At Bottle Shop — The Betoota Advocate

No One Owns More Beanies Than Drummer Who Works At Bottle Shop — The Betoota Advocate


With woolly lid season soon making way for warmer weather, it has been confirmed that no one owns more beanies than a drummer who also works at a bottle shop.

The recent report into winter hats and fashion by the ABS confirmed that up to 60% of the nation’s woolly hats are owned by bottle shop workers who love nothing more than to go full Bonham on a drum kit. 

One such double threat is Alex Kiernan (34) of Booze, Grog and Piss Bottleo in Betoota Ponds who claims to own no less than 50 beanies, most of which he got free at work.

A valued member of the community due to being the provider of alcohol and drummer in no less than six local bands, Kiernan often utilises the headwear to keep his hair out of his eyes while drumming.

With most alcohol brands competing for the sad single male with disposable income market, many choose to affix their brand to a beanie as a cool little gift with purchase as if to say ‘cheer up buddy, you’ve got a cool new beanie!’

As a bottleshop employee Kiernan gets the first pick of the merch and as he’s already a high school leaver who has worked the same retail job for nearly 20 years, he does not rightly give a shit if people judge him for wearing a beanie with Wild Turkey on it.

“There were a lot of panel caps for a bit and you still get the odd XXXL t-shirt now and then, but it’s mostly about the beanies,” stated Kiernan, wearing a fresh new Little Fat Lamb beanie over the worn down one that he can never leave home without.

“I’m afraid to take them off to be honest. I reckon they might have changed the shape of my head.”

Kiernan then listed his next six weeks worth of gigs he has coming up and stated he looked forward to us attending every single one.

Author: Stephen Bailey