Nan Has No Idea What’s Going On With Nail Polish These Days — The Betoota Advocate

Nan Has No Idea What's Going On With Nail Polish These Days — The Betoota Advocate


After 78 successful years of living as a woman, local nana Mirriam Smith has put her manicured hands up and said she has no idea what’s going on with nail polish these days.

For some time now, Nana Mirriam has acknowledged she is a keeper of the old ways, employing the use of clip-on earrings, pink lippy, and fainting whenever a granddaughter wears pants to an event.

Although aware of some of the new fashion trends like deliberately ripped jeans and tattoos, Smith has made it plain that she has “no idea what on earth is going on with nail polish these days.”

“My grand daughter came in with these nails the other day with all sorts of things on them, I thought she’d joined a cult,” stated Smith, who used press on nails for special occasions and nothing else.

“It looked like they had stopped doing them halfway through!”

“Why would you pay more for less? When she told me the price I thought that was going to be the thing that did me in! Her grandpa paid less than that for this block of land!”

Although Nana Mirriam has photographic evidence that she has rocked some pretty choice styles herself, including a decade of high and tight Thatcher cuts, there is still nothing she finds as baffling as modern women getting the tips of their nails painted a darker colour.

“It looks as if they’ve been working in a coal mine! I thought that was everything their generation stood against?”

Author: Stephen Bailey