Mid-Strength Schooner In World’s Shittest City Now Costs More Than A Kebab — The Betoota Advocate

Mid-Strength Schooner In World’s Shittest City Now Costs More Than A Kebab — The Betoota Advocate

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT

In sad news for Sydneysiders that enjoy a glass sandwich, the price of a mid-strength schooner is about to really hit the hip pocket.

A report released today by the NSW Alcohol and Gambling Society (NAGS), found that the average cost of a mid-strength beer in the glittering harbour city is now poured at the price of $12.70, more than that of a late night kebab.

In detailed findings, the report found that drinkers in Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs would be the hardest hit, after forking out an additional 15% surcharge locally referred to as the “Merivale Tax”, which is applied to any beer served in a venue that has polenta chips instead of potato wedges on the menu.

The report comes after pisshead Australians across the whole country come to terms with sobering news that the cost of beer to go up, thanks to the Australian Tax Office lifting the excise on beer by 4%.

Australian will now pay the 4th highest beer tax in the world behind Norway, Japan and Finland, three countries that couldn’t beat us in a boat race, even with a two-man handicap.

Speaking to one Paddington local, 32-year-old Financial Analysts Sebastian Totti, it appears the majority of well-heeled Sydneysiders are generally unsurprised by the report, after being conditioned to believed a $10 note is the just the average price of a middy of Tooheys New.

In conversation with our reporter over a schooner of Coathanger Brewing Extra Mild Summer Ale, Sebastian told The Advocate he didn’t believe it was possible for a pint could be poured for anything under $20.

“Wait, you’re telling me there’s places in Australia that charge less than $10 for a schooner, like where?”

“Oh you mean in the country towns, like Brisbane?”

“I wouldn’t know I’ve never been!”

More to come.

Author: Stephen Bailey